A Life More Ordinary
by Pokeyshadow
Summary: Ten years after being kidnapped, Neal shows up on Peter's doorstep a bitter and broken man. It's a story of moving on, starting over and finding a place in this world. Warning: Some off screen mentioned deaths.
1. Chapter 1

Peter opened the door and tossed his keys on the table.

"Hey boy." He reached down and scratched behind the chocolate lab's ears, smiling when the dog emitted a happy sigh.

"I assume Lucky is still alive." Hearing her name the small tabby walked hesitantly towards Peter, eyeing the large dog with much dismay.

Peter picked her up and carried her into the kitchen with Sam at his heels. It wasn't his idea to keep the kitten but the boys found her at the park and he had a hard time saying no. Elizabeth wasn't any help so as long as the dog accepted her, she was a keeper.

He gave each a treat and then checked his watch. The closer he moved towards retirement the easier it was to leave early when Elizabeth couldn't.

They made a pact when the boys became theirs to always have someone home when the school bus pulled up.

He heard a knock at the door and frowned; it was too early for the bus. He opened it and his eyes widened...

"Neal" he whispered in disbelief; taking in a man he hadn't seen in ten years. He studied his former CI in silence, with his eyes lingering on the walking cane Neal held in his right hand. Peter stood motionless, too stunned to do anything but stare.

"Can I come in?" Neal asked to break the awkward silence that accompanied the reunion. His voice seemed to snap Peter back to reality.

"Of course." Peter stepped aside but continued to stare as Neal slowly walked in; each step a tortuous movement and by the time Neal sat he was breathing heavily.

Peter watched him as his brain tried to register what just happened; a friend he assumed was lost forever was seated in his living room...to say Neal was a former shell of himself would have been an exaggeration. He barely aged in the passing years but there was a tinge of gray in his hair and a few more wrinkles across his forehead.

He had always been thin but it was more noticeable as was the awkward angle his right leg rested...

"You can ask if you want" Neal retorted as his voice brought Peter's eyes to his face. The agent sat on the sofa, opposite his old partner.

Ask what Peter silently mused. There were so many questions running around in his head that nothing coherent came to mind. Before he had a chance to form a word the front door opened and two young boys ran in.

"Daddy, look what I won." The smaller of the children raced to Peter while the older one stood back and eyed the stranger. Peter watched Neal's reaction with amusement; the ex-con stared from Peter to the boys and back... most likely doing the math in his head.

"Who is that?"

"Charlie, don't point" Peter admonished the younger one.

"I've seen you" the older boy said. "You're in those pictures with Dad...you're from New York."

"I'd like you to meet my sons. Charlie is hanging on to me and that's Jason."

Neal stared dumbfounded; ten years had passed but Jason was definitely older than ten. He glanced Peter's way and the agent nodded with a smile playing on his face.

"This is..." Peter paused. He had no idea what name his old partner was going by.

"Neal" the ex-con put forth as he leaned over and held his hand out, solemnly shaking each one.

"We used to work together in New York" Peter explained. "Go do your homework." He pushed Charlie off of his leg. "One cookie each and no computer time until you're done."

The boys ran off with the dog following and the men remained quiet until they marched up the stairs like a small army.

Now it was Neal's turn to be silent and he allowed his eyes to dart around the room, suddenly noticing all of the signs that children lived there. He also eyed Lucky and called the kitten over.

"She likes you" Peter noted as Neal picked up the cat and held her on his lap.

"I don't recall you being a cat person" Neal mused. "And you have kids..." Neal let those words dangle in the renewed silence.

The old friends stared at each other, both wondering where all the time had gone and how to explain what had happened. Neal allowed himself to study his friend; Peter had aged well... surprisingly he had less gray than Neal did but he also had less hair. He was still fit and Neal assumed he still ran...once a runner, always a runner.

Something Neal was never fond of and now...walking was enough of a chore. The kitten turned twice and then settled on Neal's lap, purring loudly.

"You faked your own death" Peter quietly said, meeting Neal's gaze.

"Mozzie did" Neal corrected as he lowered his eyes. "I had no idea and it was months before he told me."

"And then you sent that letter..."

"I wanted you to know I didn't run."

"You typed it..."

"I couldn't write at the time" Neal interrupted again. He held up his right hand and allowed Peter to see the scars close up.

"I also wanted you to know I wasn't dead and to go on with your life." Neal removed his hand from Peter's scrutiny.

"Neal, what happened to you?"

"I told you in the letter. I was kidnapped and held captive."

"You obviously left out a lot..." Peter's voice trailed off.

"I'd rather talk about you" Neal offered. "How's Elizabeth?"

"She's good." Peter smiled. "She's the director of the gallery..." Peter shrugged. "And I've been thinking of retiring. Your turn."

Neal chuckled. "I think you forgot a big chunk." He pointed towards the nearest photo...two smiling boys sitting on Santa's lap.

"When Elizabeth was out here alone she befriended a co-worker; a woman who was pregnant with her second child and had just learned her husband had been killed in Iraq."

"Oh" Neal muttered for a lack of anything better to say.

"They became fast friends and then I moved out here permanently and..." Peter smiled wearily. "During a C-section they discovered she had cancer; there wasn't any family around so Elizabeth and I stepped up and helped with the boys."

"And then she died" Neal put forth.

Peter nodded. "Eight years ago. Jason was four and Charlie six months. When she knew the end was near she updated her will..."

"And just like that, instant family" Neal finished.

"It wasn't that quick but there was no one to contest the will." Peter paused. "It was certainly a game changer for us."

"I can imagine." Neal smiled. "Wow, I can't believe you're a dad..."

"I had a lot of practice with you" Peter said. "Now tell me what happened to you."

"The long or short version..."

"Just the truth" Peter countered quickly. "And where's Mozzie? Did he come back with you?"

Neal looked away.

"Neal?"

"He died a few weeks ago" Neal said with his voice barely above a whisper. "He went fast, in his sleep...massive heart attack."

"Neal, I'm sorry." Peter leaned over and placed his hand on the ex-con's shoulder. "Neal, I know how much he meant to you..."

"He was family" Neal quietly said. "He was all I had left..." Neal slowly stood and he couldn't suppress the groan that came with that movement.

"I should go."

Peter jumped up. "Where are you going?" He grabbed Neal's arm.

"This was a mistake." Neal shook himself free.

"What was a mistake?" Peter held Neal by the shoulders and forced the younger man to face him.

"Neal?"

Neither had heard the door open.

Peter turned. "Hon, you're home early." He released Neal.

She neared them with her eyes never leaving Neal. Standing on her tip toes she pulled Neal close and wrapped her arms around him.

"We missed you" she whispered as he melted into her embrace, longing for the human contact that he hadn't realized he missed.

"Mommy!"

Elizabeth pulled away as Charlie ran towards her.

"Look what I won." She knelt down and hugged her son, wiping away her tears in the process. "That's wonderful" she eked out in a quivering voice, hoping the little boy didn't notice.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

"They're happy tears" she explained, laughing at the look he gave her.

"Charlie, go upstairs and finish your homework. OK?"

He glanced at the adults before turning and racing up the stairs.

"Do they ever walk?" Neal asked as he closed his eyes, holding his own tears at bay.

"Neal, where are you staying?" Elizabeth asked.

He shrugged. "I just got in this afternoon."

"No bag?"

He glanced Peter's way. "I left it at the airport."

"Peter, we'll move Jason into Charlie's room."

"No" Neal protested.

"I don't know if that will work..."

"Peter, it will be fine."

"That's not what I mean." He looked at Neal. "Can you handle the stairs?"

"I'm not staying." Neal sat slowly and rubbed his aching leg. He took out a small bottle of pills. "Can I get some water?"

Peter rushed off and returned with a glass. He frowned as he watched Neal down two pills. "Does the pain ever go away?"

Neal shrugged; it did if he drank enough but he didn't think Peter wanted to hear that.

"They have some good hospitals here. I'll make some calls and get you in to see a specialist."

"No." Neal stood and staggered; Peter caught him before he fell. "Neal, why'd you come here if you didn't want our help?"

Neal didn't answer.

"OK" Peter said gently. "El, help Jason move and I'll take Neal to get his bag."

Neal didn't have the energy to argue and he didn't protest the support Peter gave him as they walked towards the car.

Once settled, Peter turned towards his former partner. "Neal, I'd like an answer...why are you here?"

"I have no one else" Neal whispered before leaning back and closing his eyes.

* * *

Elizabeth stared up at the ceiling, occasionally glancing at her husband, who sat near the window. It had taken a long time to get the boys settled; they were curious and had a lot of questions about the stranger and why their father was acting weird. OK, weird was Jason's word but Elizabeth couldn't disagree with her eldest.

Peter had sat with Neal and watched his friend struggle until the pain became unbearable and sleep was a welcomed diversion. Peter returned to their bedroom clearly affected; he described what had happened and then sat at the window, staring out at nothing. Elizabeth knew neither of them would get any sleep.

Finally she sat up and approached her husband, settling herself on the arm of the chair with her hand rubbing Peter's back.

"I should have done more."

"Peter you did everything you could."

"When Mozzie disappeared..."

"You assumed Neal was alive and you stopped looking. Peter, you gave Neal his freedom."

"And then the letter came..." Peter paused and leaned over, running a hand over his face. "I should have known something was wrong."

"And what could you have done? You didn't know where Neal was and you were needed here."

Shortly after the letter arrived, they brought the boys home permanently and it was rough on all of them. "Did you tell Neal he is a free man?"

Peter shook his head no.

"What about the money June left him?"  
Again the agent shook his head. "He was in too much pain..."

Peter leaned lightly against his wife. "That leg has to go. It so crooked I'm not sure how he walks on it."

"We'll get him to see a specialist."

"He doesn't have insurance."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "We have connections Peter. We'll use them to get Neal the medical attention he needs."

"Even if we get a doctor to do it pro bono, I'm not sure Neal will go along with it."

"Peter he's here for a reason."

Peter eyed his wife. "Because he has nowhere else to go" the agent quietly said.

"No." Elizabeth firmly disagreed. "He's here because we're family and he needs our help."

"El, a lot of time has passed."

"Doesn't matter." Elizabeth took her husband's hand. "Once we get Neal feeling better, we'll figure out the rest."

"I can turn my study into a bedroom for him."

"Why Peter" Elizabeth exclaimed with a hint of exaggeration. "You're willing to give up your man cave for Neal..." She started laughing, not hiding her relief when Peter joined in briefly. He glanced upward. "This isn't going to be easy...on any of us. El, the boys..."

"We'll be fine" Elizabeth assured him.

"I don't know." Peter stood with a muffled groan, as his aching muscles protested. "I wish I knew what Neal wanted..."

"Hey. " Elizabeth pulled him close with a gentle hug. "He wants our help but if you don't believe me, ask him." She let go. "Try to get some sleep...ok?" She took a step towards the bed, pleased when Peter followed.

* * *

In the past Peter had watched Neal sleep on a number of occasions; late nighters at the office or holiday gatherings that lasted well into the morning. Elizabeth had labeled Neal a peaceful sleeper; he didn't move and he didn't utter a sound; so content in his surroundings that nothing disturbed his sleep.

That was then...Peter let out a quiet sigh as he glanced around the office. The pill bottle was overturned and several had fallen on the floor along with his glass of water. The blankets were a tangled mess at the foot of the bed and Neal moaned continuously as he tried to get comfortable; an impossible task when the pain never went away.

Peter studied his leg, bent awkwardly from the knee down, keenly noticeable even in the flannel pants that Neal was wearing.

Peter had so many questions; several times he had tried to engage Neal in a conversation but his friend didn't seem ready or willing to delve into the past.

Peter knew a little; Neal was stuffed into a van and held captive for nearly a year. That was all Neal divulged, though Peter tried his best to gather more information.

"Peter?"

The agent startled when he realized Neal was awake and watching him.

"A pill" Neal mumbled as he reached outward with his hand.

"Neal you should eat..."

"Now" Neal demanded as he plopped himself on an elbow and grabbed the bottle, dry swallowing two before Peter had a chance to move.

Peter stared with his mouth slightly ajar as he watched Neal burrow himself under the blankets; he had known pain in his life but he couldn't imagine what his friend was going through having to live with unimaginable pain every second of his life.

Peter vowed he would do something with or without Neal's blessing.

"Neal." Peter sat gently on the edge of the bed.

"Give me a few" Neal whispered as he hid his face against the pillow, willing the pain to ease up, become more manageable so he could face Peter.

"Just listen" Peter pleaded in a quiet voice as he placed a tentative hand on the ex-con's shoulder. "Neal, I have friends in high places. Let me use them to help you.

"That doesn't sound like the Peter Burke I remember" Neal remarked evenly.

Peter chuckled softly. "I've been playing the game for a long time" he explained with a shrug of his shoulders. "Neal, that leg has to go."

"I know..." Neal struggled to a seated position, allowing Peter to help him. "I've known for a long time..."

"Then why didn't you do anything?" Peter interrupted in an exasperated tone.

"Mozzie always asked the same thing." Neal shrugged defiantly. "I don't really have an answer" he admitted. "At least not one you would understand."

"Neal, are you ready?" Peter asked as he watched his friend. "Let's get rid of the pain so you can move on with your life."

Neal chuckled bitterly. "I'm a fugitive or have you forgotten that part?"

"No, you're not." Peter smiled, wishing he had a camera to capture the moment, the look of pure shock that briefly crossed Neal's face.

"After I received your letter I called in a few favors and your sentence was commuted to time served." Peter frowned. "If I knew where to find you..." He paused with a slight shrug.

"I'm sorry" Neal whispered as he tried to digest the agent's words. "If you knew where I was..."

"Plausible deniability" Peter quietly remarked, wondering how often he had said that in the past. "I can get you in tomorrow if you're willing."

Neal looked away; he had fought with Mozzie for years about his leg.

"I don't know if I can do it" Neal admitted.

"Just talk to the doctor" Peter pleaded with a weary smile. "It won't hurt to talk to him."

"No pressure?" Neal asked hesitantly.

"It's your life" Peter quickly countered. "It's your choice. Are you hungry? I can make you breakfast if you want."

Neal shook his head. "I can't walk yet..." he curled up on his side and closed his eyes.

"OK." Peter eyed hi s friend and lingered in the silence, before walking out.

* * *

Pain was his constant companion. From the moment he woke he dealt with a feeling he wished on no one and a continuous need for pills that only dulled the pain and allowed Neal to function at best. Life had become as cumbersome as his leg and only Mozzie had seen him through the worse of it.

Now Mozzie was gone and Neal turned to the only person who he thought might help him, even after all these years.

He missed Peter and he missed New York and at times, even the anklet. During those years he had a purpose and even if he felt like a puppet at times, he was surrounded by people he cared for and in turn, cared for him. All disappeared the moment he was kidnapped and Neal knew nothing would ever be the same.

But Peter was Peter and in the few days since Neal had shown up the agent had been everything Neal could have asked for even if Neal didn't know what he needed. Most important, Peter didn't press Neal after the doctor's appointment; he gave Neal space to make his own decision though they all knew what the right decision was.

Neal rubbed his leg as he flipped through the pile of pamphlets.

He heard a knock and turned.

"I thought you might want lunch." Peter stood with a tray of food. Neal shrugged and cleared some space off of the desk so Peter could place the tray down.

"Didn't you go to work?"

Peter smiled weakly. "I couldn't concentrate" he admitted. "What are you doing?"

It was obvious so Neal didn't bother to answer as he picked up a spoon and swirled it around the clear broth.

"Don't play with your food" Peter admonished and Neal could hear the amusement in his voice.

"He said he can't save the knee." It was the first time Neal had spoken about the consultation and Peter silently pulled a chair closer and sat.

"Rehab will be harder..." Neal glanced Peter's way. "I'm not sure I can do this alone."

"Neal, you won't be alone."

"Peter, you have a family...I can't ask you..."

"You don't have to." Peter reached over and grasped Neal's hand. "You won't be alone." Neal met Peter's gaze with a small smile. "I can't remember living without pain" he quietly said.

"You'll get there." Peter gently squeezed Neal's hand.

"Peter, I'm scared."

Neal glanced away with a quiet sigh, finally allowing himself to voice his fears. "I feel like I'm losing part of myself." He took a deep breath as his fingers curled around Peter's hand with a tight grip.

"Neal, you'll get through this" Peter quietly said. "It won't be easy but you'll be fine."

"I don't know..." Neal shook his head.

"Trust me."

Neal chuckled. "Trust was always our issue."

"Not this time" Peter countered. He carefully freed his hand with one last comforting squeeze. "We'll do this together...two old friends."

"I have the hard part" Neal lamented with a slight smile. "Just like old times."

Peter snickered as he stood. "So you think" he remarked with a twinkle in his eyes. "How long until surgery?"

Neal shrugged. "Soon I guess. I'll learn more tomorrow when I go in for more tests."

"OK." Peter nodded. "If it's alright I'll take tomorrow off and go with you."

Neal felt his throat tightened and just nodded, not trusting his voice. Peter studied him for a long minute before walking out, allowing Neal the privacy the ex-con needed.

* * *

The week was a blur as each day brought a new round of tests, evaluations, or consultations. Peter tagged along when allowed, though he didn't do much but offer support and an ear if Neal felt like talking. For the most part, he didn't.

He was pleasant and conversational when needed, mostly at the dinner table when the boys peppered him with questions.

With the doctors he was charming and confident, listening to them with an attitude that bordered on arrogance; acting like the surgery was just another day at the park.

With Peter he was quiet but open, allowing the mask to slip out of place and his true feelings to show. He was scared and unsure about the future.

The agent did his best to reassure Neal that everything would be fine, but as the surgery grew close, Peter's words sounded hollow. He meant what he said but they both knew this was unchartered territory.

On a cold, dreary Tuesday morning, Peter paced the waiting room as he watched the wall clock move at an extraordinarily slow pace.

At times, it seemed to stand still and Peter stared at it, assuring himself that the little hand did indeed keep moving.

He was alone. Elizabeth had started the morning with him but the school called and she left to pick up Charlie.

They said a few hours and just as the third hour passed and Peter began to worry, a nurse arrived to tell him Neal was in recovery and doing well.

Peter finally allowed himself to relax as he sat down for the first time all morning.

Another hour passed before he was allowed into Neal's room. Peter had been warned that his friend was in considerable pain and groggy from the morphine.

He opened the door with much trepidation. His eyes immediately sought out the leg; a thin sheet was covering Neal's lower body and the right side was...Peter looked away as he neared the bed and noticed Neal was awake and watching him.

"Hey." He pulled a chair over and sat as he ghosted his fingers along Neal's arm, settling them around the ex-con's wrist with a gentle grip.

"How do you feel?"

"Is it gone?"Neal asked as he reached his free hand towards his leg. Peter intercepted his hand.

"It's gone" Peter quietly answered as he lowered Neal's arm to the bed, all the while watching the younger man's face.

Neal closed his eyes with a quiet, resigned sigh.

"It's for the best" Neal muttered as he turned his head.

"Neal." Peter leaned over and draped his arm across his friend's chest. "Time to start living again, got it?"

"Yeah." Neal smiled weakly as he took Peter's hand. "Stay for a while" he whispered before drifting off.

"That's the plan" Peter quietly said as he settled back in the chair.

* * *

Peter quietly entered the small hospital room. Two days after surgery and Neal was still flat on his back dealing with some post surgical issues and a worsening disposition.

"How do you feel?" Peter asked as Neal watched him enter.

"Just dandy" Neal whispered with a hoarse voice as he tried in vain to get comfortable.

"Do you want help?"

"No."

Peter pulled his hands back and waited; Neal struggled briefly before giving up and closing his eyes in defeat.

"Come on." Peter spent enough time the past two days watching and learning and he knew Neal was having difficulties changing positions on his own. He lifted Neal's upper body until his friend was higher on the pillows and then straightened the numerous tubes, moving them out of the way. The residual limb was bandaged and healing well but Neal had been flirting with a fever since the surgery and that had everyone a bit worried.

"Better?"

Neal nodded as he turned his head towards Peter with a weak smile. "I'm surprised you showed up today."

Peter chuckled. Yesterday hadn't been one of Neal's finer days as he cursed everyone who came near him.

"Did you really have any doubt?"

"No" Neal answered with a slight shake of his head. "Sorry about yesterday..."

"It's over." Peter shushed him as he dragged the chair closer and sat. "How do you feel today?"

"No fever..." Neal shrugged. Everything was still too new and he wasn't sure how he felt or how he should be feeling.

"Are they going to get you out of bed?"

"Later..." Neal paused as he reached for his water. "As long as the fever stays away they said I can start moving."

"Good." Peter studied his friend. "Feel like talking?"

Neal nodded. There were things Peter needed to know; things Neal wanted him to know and now seemed like the right time.

"Who took you?" Peter started in a quiet voice.

"Keller was behind it" Neal answered in an equally quiet voice as he gauged Peter's reaction.

"Go on" the agent gently encouraged in a neutral tone.

"I was payment for a debt he owed..." Neal chuckled bitterly. "They knew everything they needed to know to keep me hostage."

"Did you try to escape?"

"Not at first." Neal shrugged. "I gave you time to find me..." his voice trailed off.

"I looked" Peter put forth. "We all did...for months finding you was our top priority..."

"Did you think I ran?"

"No..." Peter shook his head.

"Really" Neal remarked, somewhat skeptical.

"OK." Peter avoided Neal's eyes. "Maybe for a day but Mozzie was adamant that you didn't run and we found your go bag..." Peter paused. "After a few weeks I hoped you did run because every other option that crossed my mind was too horrific to think about."

Neal turned away; conflicted as to how much he should tell Peter. He felt Peter's hand on his arm and he took a deep breath before glancing at the agent.

Peter smiled as he gently squeezed Neal's hand. "I'm assuming they used you to commit crimes."

Neal nodded with a quiet sigh. "This is hard" he finally admitted in a thick voice. "The memories..." his voice cracked and he closed his eyes.

"I know." Peter said soothingly as he gripped Neal's hand tighter. "What happened to your leg?" Peter asked after several minutes of silence.

"When I figured help wasn't coming I tried to escape and each time they'd beat me until I was unconscious." Neal smiled weakly. "But that wasn't the worse of it...by the end of my captivity I was caged up like an animal in the corner of a basement."

"Neal..." Peter's voice trailed off...he didn't know what to say.

"I gave up" Neal whispered as he stared up at the ceiling, refusing to meet Peter's gaze. "I told them I wasn't doing anything else for them and they said they'd kill me. I told them to go ahead..." he paused and finally glanced Peter's way with a weak smile, surprised to see Peter's watery eyes.

Don't...Peter if you start crying I'm not going to hold it together."

"Go head. I won't hold it against you." Peter wiped his face on his sleeve and took a deep breath. Once he felt sure of his voice he quietly spoke. "Neal, what did they do to you?"

"I only know what they told me."

"Who are they?" Peter leaned closer to the bed and studied his friend.

"I woke up in a hospital room almost a week after the car I was driving was hit by a train..." Neal smiled wearily as he glanced at Peter. "Mozzie was there."

"What?" Peter stood abruptly. "Mozzie knew where to find you?" Peter took two steps back.

"Peter what's wrong?"

The agent didn't seem to hear him as he paced around the small room, mumbling to himself.

"He said he didn't know where you were and then he disappeared. Neal, I assumed you called him."

"No..."

"He lied to me..."

"Peter!" Neal raised his voice as loud as possible. "Peter, he's dead. There's no point getting upset over something that happened ten years ago. Please...sit."

"You're right." Peter sat and lowered his head, briefly hiding his face in his hands. When he glanced towards his friend, Neal could feel the pain radiating through Peter's body.

"I could have helped you" the agent whispered.

"I know." Neal shivered slightly. "He did what he thought was right."

"Why didn't you call me?"

Neal chuckled. "It took months for my mind to heal and my memories to come back. Peter by then Mozzie had faked my death and convinced me it was best if we disappeared..."

"Best for whom?" Peter asked.

"For you and for me...Peter I thought I was a fugitive and I didn't want to go back to jail and put you in that position."

The door opened and they both glanced that way. "Time for your therapy" the nurse announced.

Peter took that opportunity to bolt out of the room without saying a word.

* * *

Neal eyed the TV with little interest. He grabbed the newspaper and glanced at the first page before tossing it aside. Three days after surgery and he was feeling good; better than good. He wasn't in pain. It was such a long forgotten feeling that he almost forgot what it cost; until he tried to change positions and realized how hard it was with one leg.

He was getting stronger; they were working on upper body strength while they waited for his leg to heal. Neal was antsy, he wanted to get up and start moving around but the doctors wouldn't allow it.

"Can I come in?"

Neal glanced up to see Elizabeth and he smiled.

"How do you feel?"

"Good" Neal answered but Elizabeth already knew that. After two weeks of watching Neal hobble around and try to function when the pain was almost unbearable it was such a relief to see him so relaxed.

"You look wonderful" Elizabeth remarked as she set the bags down. "I hope you're hungry."

He nodded as she pulled out a few cartons from their favorite Chinese restaurant.

"Anything is better than the food here" Neal said as he grabbed a carton and a pair of chopsticks.

"I see your appetite is back." Elizabeth opened up her soup and carefully ate a spoonful.

"Is Peter angry?" Neal asked as he as took another helping of Chicken Chow Mein.

"He's not angry."

"So, he didn't come because..." Neal's voice trailed off as he grabbed an egg roll and dipped it in sauce.

"Jason has a game tonight so Peter took Charlie. Guy's night" she finished with a smile. "And it gives me some free time so I thought I'd come visit."

"Mozzie did what he thought was right."

Elizabeth finished up her soup and silently cleaned up, tossing everything into the original plastic bag. Finally she sat on the edge of the bed, eye level with Neal.

"Did Mozzie tell you anything about the year you were missing?"

Neal shook his head no.

"Peter and Mozzie worked alone and together to find you but they had a pact...if either found anything they would share that information."

"And Mozzie found me..." Neal paused.

"And he didn't tell Peter" Elizabeth concluded with a frown. "Neal, he thought you called Mozzie and he wasn't happy but he accepted it. He knew things weren't great between you two when you were kidnapped and he let you go." She shrugged. "But he never forgot you. Neal you were always the elephant in the room..." she paused with a chuckle as her thoughts wandered back in time.

"What?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "It was rough when we got the boys. Jason was confused and he struggled, especially at night. Peter would take him to the living room and try to get him back to sleep. I was changing Charlie's diaper when Peter walked in with Jason sleeping in his arms" She smiled at the memories. "He asked me what Neal would think if he saw us now."

"I would have thought those boys were very lucky to have you as parents" Neal quietly chimed in. "Elizabeth when you go home tonight tell Peter I'm sorry but I can't change what happened..." he shrugged. "Tell him I need him now."

Elizabeth leaned over and kissed his forehead. "He knows that and he's not going anywhere."

"I know." Neal looked away with a quiet sigh.

"Neal, maybe you should tell Peter yourself." She reached down and pulled out a pad of paper and some colored pencils. "In case you feel like drawing" Elizabeth remarked as she watched Neal's reaction.

"I haven't drawn in ages" he admitted as he picked up a pencil and twirled it in his hand.

"Might be time to start again" Elizabeth said as she stood. "Neal, we told the boys as much as we thought they could understand but they may stare or ask questions when they see you."

Neal smiled. "It's fine. Thanks for everything..."

"Talk to him" Elizabeth gently suggested before walking out.

* * *

"You're out of bed" Peter exclaimed as he walked in and saw his friend sitting in the chair by the window. A pair of crutches leaned against the wall. Neal looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, about time" Neal said as he gently rubbed the residual limb. The bandaged end was barely sticking out below the shorts that Neal was wearing.

"How do you feel?"

Peter took off his coat and hung it from the door knob.

"Bored" Neal admitted as he turned the chair and faced the agent. "They won't let me practice with a prosthetic until I heal more."

"But you can go home on crutches right?"

"I guess." Neal shrugged as he grabbed the pad from the small table. "I can still draw..." He handed it to Peter.

"This is good." Peter stared down at a perfect pencil drawing of his family including Sam and Lucky. When he glanced Neal's way, the ex-con refused to meet his gaze.

"Neal, we've got your room ready. It's not big but at least you'll be away from Charlie." Neal had commented often that the younger boy had two volumes, loud and louder.

"You shouldn't have gone to any trouble...

"Hey, Jason and I had fun doing it. There's only a shower downstairs so we bought a shower chair for you to use."

"Thank you." Neal lowered his head and stared at the floor.

"What's wrong?" Peter grabbed a chair and sat down. "Neal?" Peter prompted when his friend remained quiet. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine." Neal sat up straighter and smiled weakly at Peter.

"You don't seem fine. Do you need me to get a doctor?" The worry in Peter's voice caused Neal to feel worse.

"I'm going to get a doctor." Before Peter could stand Neal reached out and grabbed his arm. "Don't" he pleaded in an even tone.

"Neal, talk to me."

"Mozzie always said guys like us don't have happy endings" Neal quietly began. "I never truly believed him until I woke up in that hospital bed with half my body in a cast."

"Neal..." Peter reached a tentative hand out before lowering his arm to his side.

"For much of my life I didn't feel in control and the accident was just the icing..." Neal shrugged. "At that point I didn't care if I lived or died. I don't know why Mozzie stayed with me..."

"He was your friend."

Neal chuckled bitterly. "He was and in return he got stuck taking care of a bitter, broken down man." Neal traced the scars on his right hand, another reminder of the accident. "He begged me to take care of the leg and he tried to convince me to call you."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because you would have come running and you would have helped me and that's not what I wanted. It's not what I deserved."

"Neal you're wrong." Peter leaned a little closer and ghosted his hand along Neal's arm, finally settling it on the ex-con's shoulder.

"Am I?" Neal peered through wet lashes at his friend. "I truly feel Mozzie died because I didn't want to live. I think it killed him..."

"No." Peter grabbed a tissue and handed it to Neal. "Mozzie could have left at any time. Or he could have called me if it became too much for him. He did neither..."

"It would have been betrayal in his eyes." Neal wiped his eyes and then his nose.

"For several days after Mozzie died I sat in a dark room with a gun to my head but I couldn't pull the trigger." He mimicked the action until Peter took his hand and held it tight.

"Peter, I didn't want to die. No matter how bad things were I couldn't do it."

"I'm glad you didn't" Peter whispered as he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, refusing to release Neal's hand.

Neal took a deep breath. "I gave everything away and packed a bag and that's when I ended up on your doorstep."

"You wanted my help" Peter said cautiously.

"Part of me hoped you would slam the door in my face" Neal countered as he pulled his hand away. "I would not have blamed you...but instead you asked me in and here we are..."

"Where are we Neal?"

"Peter, I want my happy ending." Neal looked away, clearly embarrassed.

The agent sat back and studied his friend. "Neal, are you willing to work for it?" The ex-con glanced his way.

"Every ending has a beginning" Peter quietly remarked. "I was going to wait until you got out..." Peter stood. "I have some paperwork in the car. I'll be back in a few."

He returned a few minutes later with his briefcase and a wheelchair.

"There's a really nice atrium on the first floor. Or we can go to the cafeteria. Are you up for it?"

"I'm a little hungry" Neal admitted as he reached for his robe. "You're going to have to help me."

"What do I do?" Peter pushed the chair closer.

"Set the lock and then help me up." Neal pushed himself half-way up and allowed Peter to steady him as he transferred to the wheelchair. Peter grabbed a blanket and draped it over Neal's lap and the ex-con quickly covered his legs.

"Not ready for the stares" Neal admitted.

"I know" Peter said as he grabbed his briefcase and wheeled Neal out of the room.

Peter nursed his coffee while keeping an amused eye on his friend. Neal seemed to be making up for lost time as he quietly finished up his second sandwich. Peter wasn't the best judge of appearances but Elizabeth thought Neal was fifteen or twenty pounds lighter than before the kidnapping. He barely ate before the surgery but the agent assumed the pain and the pills had something to do with his lack of appetite.

"Do you want another?" Peter asked as he watched Neal eat the last few crumbs.

Neal glanced his way with a slight smirk. "I'm good" he said as he grabbed the a few chips and popped them in his mouth. "So, what's in the briefcase?" Neal asked after cleaning his hands on a napkin. "Is it the secret to my happy ending?"

Peter chuckled. "Since when do you believe in fairy tales?"

Neal shrugged. "I don't know what I believe in" Neal admitted after several minutes of silence. "I just ..." He paused with a sheepish smile. "I'm ready to live again but I think I need a little help."

"OK." Peter grabbed his suitcase. "First I need a favor."

"Go ahead" Neal urged cautiously.

"I told the boys to call you Uncle Neal and I'm hoping you're ok with that."

"Really...?" Neal paused, somewhat taken aback and not sure how to respond to that.

"Mr. Caffrey is way too formal and I don't want them to call you Neal" Peter explained. "I mean if you want to continue with Mr. Caffrey..."

"No" Neal put forth quickly. "That makes me feel really old... Uncle Neal is fine" he added with a genuine smile.

"Thank you." Peter opened the briefcase and pulled out a folder. "If you're interested I can bring you on as a full time consultant..."

"A job?" Neal asked hesitantly as he took the folder.

Peter nodded. "A job that pays competitive wages with all the benefits an agent would get."

"I...I don't know what to say." Neal avoided Peter's gaze.

"Think about it" Peter suggested. "It will be awhile before you're back on your feet..."

"You mean foot" Neal interrupted with a smirk.

"Neal..."

"My leg, I can joke about it."

Peter merely shook his head but he couldn't deny the fact that this felt right; and it made him realize how much he had missed Neal.

"Peter, I thought you were going to retire."

"Give me a reason to stick around...at least for a few years."

"So you missed me?"

Peter nodded. "I did." He shrugged with a deep sigh.

"Can I go undercover?"

"As long as you don't have to make a fast getaway" Peter answered with a sly smile. "Neal, we'll show the kids how it's done..." he paused as he studied his friend. "It's an option if you want it." Peter pulled another file from his briefcase.

"June left you some money." He pushed the portfolio towards Neal. "She put me in charge until you came home..." He gave Neal a few minutes to read through it. "We put a lot into stocks and bonds and you've done well." Neal glanced at the numbers and then up at Peter, speechless.

"She knew I was alive?" Neal quietly asked.

Peter nodded. "She put your stuff and most of Byron's clothes into storage. When you're up for it, we can go to New York and start going through it. We'll stop at the bank and do all the necessary paperwork to transfer control back to you."

Neal sat back in the chair, clearly shocked by everything.

"Neal, are you tired? Do you want to go back?"

"Peter, can I get a candy bar?"

"You want a candy bar?" Peter asked, somewhat surprised.

Neal nodded. "Anything chocolate and then we can go back."

"OK." Peter walked off, returning a few minutes later with an assortment of candy bars. He stuffed everything into his briefcase and quietly pushed Neal back to the room.

Once inside the room Peter helped Neal into bed and then placed the candy on the tray. The ex-con just stared at them.

"Hey. What's going on?" Peter sat on the edge of the bed.

"They'd play games with me when I was in the cage." Neal began in a quiet, monotone voice. "One of them would dangle a candy bar on a string and I'd have to grab it before they pulled it away."

"And if you didn't catch it?" Peter asked.

"I'd get nothing to eat or worse, just chocolate for days until I was sick to my stomach..." Neal paused, glancing Peter's way. "I've not had a piece of chocolate since the accident."

"So why now?"

Neal didn't answer. Eyes wide he stared at the candy; motionless. Peter watched for as long as he could and finally he swiped the candy and tossed them in his briefcase.

Neal didn't protest. "I'm not ready" Neal admitted with a quiet sigh. "It's just chocolate" he whispered without much conviction.

It was much more and they both knew it.

"Maybe you should talk to someone" Peter suggested in an even tone as he gauged the ex-con's reaction.

Neal merely shrugged as he burrowed a little further under the blanket.

"I'm going to take off. See you tomorrow." Peter reached a hand out and grasped Neal's shoulder, offering his friend some comfort. As he turned to leave, he noticed the picture Neal had drawn. Peter picked it up, along with a pencil and took a few minutes to draw an addition. Satisfied that he was never going to be Picasso, Peter placed the drawing down and walked out.

Neal listened to Peter leave and when his curiosity got the best of him, he reached over and grabbed the drawing. Peter had added a new member to his family; a stick figure with an over sized hat and a missing leg.

* * *

Peter was not in the best of moods when he entered the hospital two nights later. He had forgotten about the parent/teacher conference the previous evening...maybe wishful thinking on his part...and his morning had started with the news of one of his men being shot while undercover. He had talked to Neal a couple of times over that period and he knew his friend wasn't feeling that well. Another set-back, more fevers and most frustrating, no idea when Neal would get released from the hospital.

Peter shifted the bag he was carrying to the other hand as he entered the elevator and hit the right floor. Elizabeth had made several dishes and tossed in a few books she thought Neal might enjoy.

Peter opened the door with a little knock.

"Can I come in?"

Neal nodded from the chair he was sitting in, wrapped in several blankets. Peter eyed the IV and took a deep breath; it meant the fever was persistent and Neal was on continuous antibiotics.

"How do you feel?"

Neal shrugged as he tried to sit up straighter.

"How high?" Peter asked as he glanced at the chart.

"100 at the last check" Neal answered as he fumbled with the blankets. One fell and Peter scooped it up and wrapped it around his friend.

"Hope you're hungry. Elizabeth made a feast for you."

It smelled good but he wasn't that hungry. "Just a little" Neal said as Peter scooped some stew onto a paper plate. Peter handled it to him along with a plastic fork.

"Do they know what's causing the fevers?"

Neal shook his head no. "If it continues, they're talking exploratory surgery."

"Shit" Peter mumbled as he sank down on the plastic chair. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Are you walking at all?"

"No" Neal said with a mouth full of food. "How's your guy?"

"He'll be ok." Peter rubbed at his face before reaching into the bag and pulling out the books. "El thought you might enjoy these."

"Thank her for me." Neal finished up and surprised Peter by dishing out another serving.

"How'd it go last night?"

"Don't get me started." Peter stood and started pacing. "If one more teacher tells me Charlie can't sit still..." he threw his hands up in exasperation. "I've seen him sit still for hours if it's something he's interested in. Neal, I'm really thinking of putting him in a private school."

"Peter, he does seem a little hyper..."

"He is. I know that." Peter continued his pacing. "He's been fighting since the day he was born and I don't think medication is the answer."

"But if he needs it to concentrate..."

"Now you sound like Elizabeth" Peter countered with a wave of his arm. "That kid was born six weeks premature and he struggled to survive..."

"Peter I didn't know."

"I know." Peter took a deep breath. "He was in distress so they did an emergency c-section. That's when they discovered a bed of tumors in his mother." Peter paused. "They never saw it on the ultra sounds and she thought the pain was due to the pregnancy."

Peter finally sat. "Nothing came easy for him." Peter glanced Neal's way. "We're going to get him evaluated by a doctor..."

"Maybe we can go together" Neal suggested with a slight smile. "Two for one special" he added quietly.

Peter chuckled. "Some days..."

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret?" Peter asked, momentarily confused. "You mean the boys?" Peter shook his head. "No. They're great kids and I'm proud to be their dad..." he paused briefly. "I wish it had happened a little earlier but maybe this was meant to be." Peter sat back with a deep sigh.

"You, on the other hand...Neal, I'd do anything to give those ten years back to you. You know that, right?"

Neal simply nodded. He knew it and though he wouldn't say it out loud, he regretted not calling the agent for help.

"Do you want my long list of regrets?"

"No." Peter stood and quickly cleaned up the remainder of the food. "What I want is to get you out of here and for you to figure out what you want to do with your life."

"Tall order" Neal whispered as he shifted in the chair. "Can you help me back to bed?"

Peter moved the pole closer to the bed and then leaned over and wrapped an arm around Neal, pulling his friend to an upright position. Peter was shocked at how shaky Neal was and it took a few minutes until the ex-con felt steady enough to hop the few feet, while leaning heavily against Peter.

Once in bed, Neal closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, worn out just from those few steps.

"Neal, do you want me to leave?"

"No." Neal opened one eye. "I didn't end up on your doorstep to be by myself."

"No, you didn't." Peter smiled as he pulled the chair close and sat. "You should try to rest" he remarked as he studied his friend; Neal looked tired and he knew the long hospital stay was starting to wear on him.

"I talked to Diana this morning."

Neal's eyes widened a bit as he glanced Peter's way. For some reason this was the first time either had spoken about their old team.

"How is she?" Neal asked after several minutes of silence.

"She's good" Peter answered. "She has my old job and she recently married her partner." Peter chuckled. "They just had their third child." Peter pulled out his phone and shuffled through his photos. "Recent picture" he said as he handed it to Neal.

"Is that Theo?" Neal eyed the oldest child. "Mozzie talked about him a lot..." Neal paused; he always felt guilty when Mozzie brought up the child he missed more than he was willing to admit.

"She wants to see you" Peter put forth when his friend grew quiet. "Jones is eager to see you too."

Neal remained quiet so Peter continued. "He's head of the crimes division In Chicago and engaged for the third time." Peter laughed. "He swears this is the right one."

Neal managed a small smile. "I'd like to see them" he admitted. "I have to do something for Mozzie." Neal quietly said. "He considered New York his home and I want to bury him there..."

"What?" It took a few minutes for that to register. "Where is...?"

"My suitcase" Neal put forth before Peter could finish. "I owe him that much" Neal stated firmly. "I need to find the right place."

"We'll do it together" Peter said. "We'll find something online and when you feel up to it we'll have a small ceremony...ok?"

Neal nodded as he curled in to himself and pulled the blankets tighter.

"Get some rest Neal. I'll stick around for a little while."

Neal didn't need much encouragement to close his eyes and it wasn't long before he was sleeping.

* * *

Peter stood back and secretly watched as Neal maneuvered the parallel bars on his temporary prosthetic leg. Finally, two weeks after his surgery, Neal was feeling good and making progress. They were even talking discharge in a day or two.

Neal finished two laps and Peter let out a loud cheer. The ex-con turned, clearly surprised to see Peter standing there.

"What are you doing here?" Neal allowed the therapist to help him into the wheelchair, clearly spent from the short walk.

"I'm taking the boys to the park and I'd thought you'd like to come with us."

"I don't know..."

"Come on. You're going to turn down a day pass out of this place."

Neal shrugged. "I'm going to slow you down..."

"Bring the crutches with you."

Neal glanced at his therapist and then back at Peter. "Fresh air sounds good" he remarked. "I'm not wearing shorts" he added as they headed back to his room.

"Where are the boys?"

"I left them in your room."

"Stop" Neal ordered suddenly, a few doors from his room. "He stood and gripped Peter's arms to steady himself.

"You don't have to walk..."

"Yes, I do." Neal took a couple of steps while keeping his hand firmly around Peter's arm.

"Hey" he greeted as they walked in; both boys quietly stared at him with their eyes clearly on the prosthetic.

"It's ok" Neal whispered when he sensed Peter was going to reprimand them.

"Does it hurt?" Charlie asked as he took a step closer.

"No." Neal sat down on the bed.

"Can I touch it?"

"Go ahead." Once again, Neal spoke before Peter had a chance. Charlie reached out a hesitant hand and touched Neal near the knee area. Just as fast he pulled his hand away. "It's feels weird" he announced and then retreated. "Can we go now?"

"Yeah." Peter found a pair of sweats and handed them to Neal. "Do you need help?"

Neal nodded; quickly they got the sweats on him, both knowing they were being watched.

"Neal, you're using the wheelchair to the car."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Peter..."

"Uncle Neal, you're not going to win" Jason remarked as he passed the bickering men, dragging his brother by the arm.

As Neal struggled, Peter started to regret taking Neal with them. He was stubborn and he refused to use the crutches. Peter should have insisted the leg stay back; instead Neal walked with an unsteady gait, leaning heavily against the agent.

The boys had bolted ahead long ago; Peter could see them on the basketball court with some kids from the neighborhood.

"Sit" Peter ordered when they finally approached the nearest bench.

Neal didn't argue as he sank to the bench with a relieved moan, rubbing both thighs.

"I need to practice" Neal said once he found his voice.

"That's what rehab is" Peter countered as he glanced over his shoulder catching sight of his sons. "You're using the crutches on the way back."

Again, Neal didn't argue. He leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling the sun beating down.

"I missed this so much."

"Missed what?" Peter asked.

"Everything" Neal whispered. "Being free...the sun." Neal sighed before admitting the next. "You" he said so quietly that Peter barely heard. But he did and he smiled.

"I hated you for so long" Neal continued.

"Why?" Peter kept his tone even though it bothered him to hear Neal say that.

"I don't know..." Neal wasn't sure it was wise to continue this conversation.

"Sure you do." Peter glanced sideways. "Was it because I didn't find you?"

Neal looked away with an audible sigh.

"Neal, it bothered me for a long time that I didn't continue but I thought I was doing the right thing." He reached over and tapped Neal's shoulder. "At some point we have to move beyond the past. Can you do that?"

Neal looked at him. "You don't know half of it" he said in a monotone voice.

"I know." Peter smiled reassuringly, though it was the unknown that kept him up at night. "Can we focus on the future?"

"Yeah." Neal managed a weary smile. "If it helps I hated myself for hating you." He chuckled. "The last ten years have really messed with my mind."

Any retort Peter was going to make was stopped when he heard Charlie calling him. He jumped up as his son neared him.

"Jason..." he said between breaths. "Daddy he fell and he's bleeding."

"Stay here" Peter said to Neal as he grabbed Charlie's hand and raced towards the basketball courts.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to parenthood Neal silently mused as he watched Peter pace anxiously in the small waiting room. Jason was going to be fine but they took him down to x-rays just to rule out a concussion. Peter was outwardly calm but Neal saw the signs of his anxiety in his clenched jaw and the tone of his voice as he assured Elizabeth it wasn't serious enough for her to drive to the hospital.

Neal's unspoken task was to keep Charlie occupied; after they both grew bored with Tic Tac Toe, Neal started to teach him to draw.

"I'm hungry." Charlie slid off the chair and approached Peter. "Daddy, can I get something to eat?" Peter look at Neal.

"I'll take him" Neal managed to get up with the aid of his crutch. He walked by Peter and took a twenty from the agent. "Come on." He ushered the child towards the cafeteria.

"I broke my arm once."

"You did?"

Charlie nodded as he stopped and waited for Neal to catch up. "I fell out of a tree but I don't remember much. I was little at the time."

"What do you want?" Neal asked as Charlie glanced at the different menus. He shrugged and then looked at Neal.

"How hungry are you?"

"I don't know."

Neal bit his lip as he checked the selections. "How about some chips?"

Charlie shrugged again. Neal was beginning to lose his patience. He walked up to the cashier and ordered a bag of chips, a small popcorn and a bottle of water.

"Hold this." He gave Charlie the chips and water and he managed to keep the popcorn upright as he slowly made his way on the crutches.

By the time they returned, Jason was back and Peter was at the counter filling out paperwork.

Neal deposited Charlie next to his brother and then neared the agent.

"All ok?"

Peter nodded. "The x-rays were negative but it took ten stitches to close the cut." Peter smiled as he signed the last page. "He'll probably have a nice shiner he can show off at school Monday. Do you want to come back for lunch?" Peter glanced over his shoulder. "Don't worry, those two will be starving by the time we get home."

"I don't think I can."

"Why?" Peter looked at him. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine..." Neal leaned against the counter and refused to say more.

Peter studied him until the receptionist started talking to him again. A few minutes later they all headed out of the hospital.

The drive home was quiet; Charlie had fallen asleep and Jason munched on the popcorn. Neal was sullen and Peter was more than curious. He decided to drop the boys off before taking Neal back; he pulled into the driveway and gently woke up Charlie.

"I'll be back in a minute" he said before walking away. Neal saw Elizabeth meet them at the door and without looking at Neal she ushered her family in.

Neal closed his eyes; he was tired but it was more than that. He was alone and he was envious of Peter. He wanted what the agent had and he had no idea how that would happen. So lost in thought he didn't realize that Peter was in the car until the agent called his name...twice.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for lunch?"

"No." Neal stared out the window as Peter pulled away. It was a quiet neighborhood of single family homes with kids and dogs running around the front yards.

To Neal it was paradise; something he never knew and rarely thought about when he was younger. In the back of his mind he knew it was something he would have when the time was right; that was then. Now...he wasn't sure he would find love again.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"And now you're lying." Peter turned and pulled into one of his favorite delis.

"Peter, just take me back. I'm sure Jason needs you."

Peter laughed. "Jason is fine. He's trying to figure out how to exaggerate his injury to impress his friends. Let's go." Peter jumped out and waited for Neal to follow.

"The turkey club is fantastic" Peter said once they were seated.

They both ordered that and a diet soda. Once the waitress left Peter eyed his friend. "Spill it" he said as Neal turned away. "What's wrong with you?"

Neal covered his face and took a deep breath before finally facing the agent. "I'm jealous ok? I see what you have and I see what I have...and please don't tell me life choices."

"I don't need to tell you what you already know." Peter sipped his water. "Neal you have a place with us for as long as you want."

"Why?" Neal crossed his arms and glared at Peter. "You have the perfect family...why take me in? I'm not some orphaned child that needs a family."

"You're not a child Neal" Peter stated quietly. "But you do need a family and yes, I'm offering mine for as long as you want." Peter paused when the waitress returned with their orders. The agent grabbed a French fry and plopped it into his mouth. "I'm not allowed to eat these in front of El" he said with a smile as he grabbed another one.

"Neal if you have another option I won't stop you..."

Peter took a bite of his sandwich with his eyes on his former partner.

"Yeah. Lots of options" Neal muttered. He glanced out the window with a sigh, wilting a bit under the agent's steady gaze. Options Neal mused as he watched a family walk by with two huge dogs. Go back to being an FBI consultant...with pay, or back to his conning ways. It was hard to imagine doing that on one leg and without Mozzie's help.

Fall in love...Neal managed a weary smile; not likely considering his past and his newly acquired disability.

"Neal..." The younger man turned Peter's way. "No other options" Neal whispered as he picked up his sandwich and took a healthy bite.

"Have you considered the job offer?"

Neal nodded. He had and he wasn't opposed to it; he just wasn't sure it was what he wanted to do.

"And?"

Peter wasn't going to drop the subject.

"Neal, it's not a life sentence. In fact I won't be upset if you quit after a year. Give yourself a chance to earn some money and meet some people..." Peter paused. There really wasn't much more he could say on the subject.

"Do they know who I am?"

"They do."

"And, do they care?"

Peter smiled. "I think they're curious to meet you. They know what we did and our closure rating."

"Peter, we're not the same..."

"Sure we are." The agent laughed. "A little older, a bit grayer..."

"Less hair" Neal put forth with a twinkle in his eyes.

Peter scowled as he combed his hand through his hair. "So you've mentioned numerous times." He shrugged. "We make a good team Neal and I think it's time Burke and Caffrey ride again."

"You mean Caffrey and Burke."

"Whatever." Peter rolled his eyes. "Is that a yes?"

"It is."

Peter let out a quiet roar just as his phone rang. He glanced at the message with a frown.

"Peter, what's wrong?"

"The boys want tacos for dinner so El sent me a grocery list."

"The excitement" Neal exclaimed as Peter gave him a dirty look.

"I wouldn't trade it for anything. Finish up and I'll drag you shopping with me."

"Oh joy" Neal whispered, though inwardly he still longed for the mundane life that Peter had. Silently they finished up their lunch.

* * *

It was an early Monday morning when Neal was finally released and Peter picked him up, patiently waiting while Neal filled out the paperwork and received his rehab schedule.

He left the hospital with his temporary leg on, the crutches nearby and a walker in the back seat for use while practicing with his new leg.

Peter was quiet; never letting on what awaited Neal when they got home. He opened the door and the boys stood there with noise makers and confetti. Elizabeth welcomed him with a warn hug; she let go and Neal finally saw the banner that hung from the ceiling. Welcome Home Uncle Neal it read in bright blue letters.

"I..." Neal was speechless; an unexpected turn of events for a man who always had something to say. He glanced at Peter with tears in his eyes and a voice he knew would betray him the moment he spoke. Peter patted his back with a knowing smile before turning his attention to his screaming sons.

"More than enough" he said in a gentle voice. "Now go grab your backpacks so Mom can take you to school."

They groaned but did as they were told and with a quick goodbye to both men, they ran out of the house arguing about something.

"So..." Peter began as he nonchalantly watched as Neal wiped at his eyes. "Would you like a tour of the house?"

"Peter, I've been here before..."

"That was the old Neal" Peter interrupted as he steered his friend towards his new bedroom. "With as much pain as you were in I'm not sure you noticed anything."

Neal opened his mouth to argue but quickly decided it wasn't worth it and most likely it was the truth.

"Peter...this is" Neal paused as he took in the agent's office. A bed filled half the room; the desk was still in there but Peter had replaced his papers with a laptop and several empty pads of paper.

An easel sat in the corner and a new dresser took up the last wall space.

"We cleaned out the linen closet and I took out the shelves and hung a bar. You can use that for your clothes..."

Peter guided him out of the room. "The bathroom has a shower chair and we put in two bars that you can lean on."

Neal wordlessly followed him into the bathroom. "I have no idea what you use so we can go shopping if you'd like."

Peter turned to face him. "Feel free to say something."

Neal opened and closed his mouth...and when words failed him he pulled Peter into a bear hug, allowing his actions to speak volumes. He let go with a huge smile and watery eyes.

"I take it you're happy with the accommodations." Peter's smirk belied his own threatening tears.

Neal nodded as he again wiped his eyes. "I don't know what to say" the ex-con finally admitted. "Part of me still doesn't understand why you're going to all this trouble for me."

"Well, I guess that part is going to have to figure it out." Peter headed towards the kitchen and Neal followed.

"Hungry?" Peter hadn't eaten and he assumed Neal hadn't either. He opened the cabinet and pulled out two boxes of cereal. "Do you want the one that comes with a toy or the one for old folks like me?"

Neal chuckled as he watched Peter pour two bowls and add skim milk to each one. He put both on the table and grabbed a basket of fruit and placed it near Neal.

"I guess the days of donuts are long gone" Neal remarked as he spooned some cereal into his mouth; Peter smiled as he started up a fresh pot of coffee.

"I have young kids. I need to make sure I live long enough to get them through college." Peter grabbed two mugs and filled them with coffee and he handed one to Neal.

"Do you ever think about dying?"

Peter paused with the spoon near his mouth and stared at his friend.

"No" he stated firmly. "And don't start" Peter warned.

"I wasn't" Neal insisted. "I don't know..." he paused and swirled his spoon around the soggy cereal. "Peter, do you believe in second chances?"

"I believe in starting over."

"Peter, I'll always be grateful for this chance you're giving me..."

"I'm not giving you anything."

"Really..." Neal remarked evenly. "You opened your door and invited me in..."

"That's what you do for family."

"Not in my family" Neal countered swiftly.

Peter shrugged. "Get used to it. And don't be shocked if I ask you to babysit occasionally."

"You trust me with your kids?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?

Neal managed a weary smile. "I'm sure ten years ago you would have had a boat load of reasons."

"Neal, are you going somewhere with this conversation?" Peter stood and cleared the table, placing everything in the sink.

"Peter, you've changed."

Peter turned and faced the ex-con. "It's been ten years. I think we've all changed."

"Are you so sure about me?"

Peter eyed him suspiciously for several minutes before breaking out in a genuine smile. "Neal you're a free man. There's the door..." Peter wiped his hands on the towel. "I have several meetings today. While you're contemplating your future, please fill in the calendar with your rehab sessions." Peter took the calendar down and tossed it on the table along with some green colored circles.

"It's the only way we can keep track of everything. Call me if you need anything." Peter grabbed his briefcase and raced out.

Neal studied the calendar; both boys played hockey and baseball. Elizabeth took yoga twice a week and Peter bowled every other Saturday. Neal smiled as he unfolded a piece of paper and started adding his schedule.

He might be too old to need a family but for now it's what he wanted.

* * *

Peter stood off to the side and watched Neal struggle through his therapy. Two weeks after being released Neal was frustrated with his inability to walk normally on his artificial leg.

He was told it would take time and he was doing as well as expected but that didn't appease the ex-con and his resolve was crumbling along with his demeanor.

The ex-con slipped and Peter could hear him cry out in utter frustration; the agent fought against his need to run over and help. He stepped back and watched the therapist quietly talk to him, feeling like he was listening in on a private conversation, although he couldn't hear a word being said.

After several minutes Neal stood straighter and went back to work.

Peter watched for a few more minutes before retreating back to the hall and catching the elevator upstairs.

He knew he was welcomed, he had been in the past...but in the last few days Neal had retreated into himself, although he still managed to act normal around the boys.

Reaching the waiting room, Peter sat and took out his phone. He sent a message to his wife and then grabbed a magazine and flipped through it with little interest.

Another twenty minutes passed before Neal entered and neared him.

"Hey Peter."

The agent looked up and smiled. "How'd it go?"

Neal shrugged as he leaned forward, resting on the crutches.

"Just us" Peter remarked as he stood and grabbed his jacket. "Do you want to go out for dinner?"

"No." Neal limped ahead of the agent while occasionally using the crutches for support.

"Well, I want dinner. You can sit in the car or come in and watch me eat."

Neal was sullen as they entered the car. "I need a shower" he remarked, as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"You're fine" Peter insisted as he pulled into a family diner and parked the car. "Besides we need to talk."

"That doesn't sound good" Neal quietly said as he followed the agent inside. "Did I finally wear out my welcome?"

"You mean with your sunny disposition" Peter retorted as they followed the hostess to the table.

"Peter...I'm sorry but..."

The agent cut him off with a finger. "Don't apologize. I understand...ok?"

"Do you?" Neal glanced up.

"Yes, I do." Peter met his eyes. "But I don't agree with you."

"That's a surprise" Neal remarked sarcastically as he reached for the menu and started reading through the choices.

"Hey." Peter grabbed the menu and tossed it to the side. "Neal, you don't have to be perfect..."

"I don't want to stand out."

"Since when?" Peter leaned back with a small chuckle. "You'll be fine and with time..." Peter smiled. "I need you to start working sooner than later. How about two weeks from Monday?"

Neal sat back and mirrored Peter's position; arms crossed and held tightly against his chest. "No" he quietly answered in an even tone.

"Neal, I really need the help. If you tell me no because you don't feel strong enough I'll understand. But..."

"I feel fine" Neal remarked and for the most part it was the truth. "Peter, I'm not sure I'm ready...for ten years..."

"You've been hiding, I know."

"Not hiding." Neal shook his head. "Existing. Peter, you need to give me some more time...please."

"Time for what?" Peter asked in a resigned tone.

Neal merely stared at him for a few minutes with a look that said it's obvious. But for Peter, it wasn't.

"Neal?" he prompted, needing an explanation.

"I was caged like an animal for nearly a year. I spent nine more in a room, in so much pain I did nothing but stare at a wall...do you think it's so easy to go back in the real world like nothing happened?"

"I never thought it was easy" Peter remarked with a strained smile. "That's why I suggested you see someone..." he paused with a shrug. "Neal, you can't hide in my home forever."

"I'm not hiding" Neal said defensively, a little too loudly as those around them glanced their way.

"What do you call it?" Peter quietly asked.

Neal looked away knowing he didn't have an answer. He was happy where he was and he felt secure and even love from Peter and his family but the outside world scared him...much more than he was willing to admit. Eating at a restaurant...seemingly one of Peter's favorite activities...caused him to feel uneasy at times.

"OK." Peter sat back, knowing he wasn't going to get an answer. "I won't let you trade one prison for another."

Neal was about to protest but Peter cut him off. "I will give you time but I expect you to leave the house at least once a day."

Neal took a deep breath; he could handle that, at least he hoped he could.

"Neal, there's something else."

Neal swallowed hard. "What?" he asked with much trepidation.

"Calm down" Peter said gently. "It's not bad and I'm not going to force you."

"OK." Neal sighed deeply. "What is it?"

Their conversation was briefly interrupted when the waitress came and took their order.

"Neal, I need to go New York next week for a few days of meetings and I'd like you to go with me."

Neal briefly mulled that over. "Why?" he asked.

"The truth?"

Neal nodded.

"Elizabeth is not comfortable with all the help you still require..." Peter paused with a weary smile. "My wife is amazing but helping you in and out of the shower is not high on her wish list..." he shrugged. "You can stay in the hotel if you don't feel like venturing out...but..."

"Can we visit June's grave?"

Peter sat up straighter. "Sure. Neal, we can do whatever you feel up to."

"Mozzie?"

Peter nodded. "We have time to plan a service."

"OK." Neal leaned back and studied the agent. "Peter, you know I appreciate everything you've done for me right?"

"I know." Peter smiled. "Neal all I want is for you to enjoy your new found freedom. I know it's going to take time but you'll get there."

"I will" Neal agreed. They grew silent when the food arrived and quietly ate.

"Is Jones going to be there?" Neal asked as he finished up his soup.

Peter nodded.

"I'd like to see him and Diana if possible."

"I'm sure it can be arranged." Peter chuckled. "Can you believe Diana has missed you?"

Neal smiled. "Missed shooting me maybe" he conceded. Suddenly he grew serious. "I wasn't sure I'd ever make it back to New York. I'm looking forward to it."

"Good." Peter grabbed the check and stood. "And when you start making money, you can pick up the tab."

With a good-hearted laugh, he headed to the cashier with Neal in tow.

* * *

"Peter, calm down" Diana said as she exchanged glances with Jones.

"Why the hell isn't he answering?" Peter slammed the phone on the counter as he picked up his glass of water.

"Maybe he turned his phone off. Peter, is he in any danger..?"

Peter glanced Diana's way. "You didn't see him this morning. He was agitated...I could feel the tension as we drove into the city." Peter checked the time. They had another five minutes before the break was over.

"I should have skipped this meeting..."

"Peter, you're the guest speaker they all came to hear...kind of hard to sneak out." Jones laughed at the irony.

"He doesn't get around very well."

"Peter, there are plenty of cabs" Diana countered quickly. "Come on. We'll get this over with and go find him."

Diana guided Peter towards the meeting room with Jones trailing behind. Even after all these years some things never change, although if she was honest with herself that year Neal went missing was hard on them all.

Finding Neal this time had been easy; at some point he had decided to take pity on Peter and answer his phone. Where they found him was a little surprising; sitting on a park bench not far from where he had been abducted.

Peter led the way as they approached him.

"Neal?" Peter sat down next to him and motioned for the others to come closer. "What are you doing here?"

Diana stayed back and studied him. He was thinner than she had remembered but not too thin and his blue slacks and black shoes hid the prosthetic from plain view. His hair was longer than the last time she saw him; still curly with hints of silver throughout.

A walking cane leaned against the bench within a hand's reach.

"Hey Neal." Diana greeted as she paused in front of him. Blue eyes glanced up and he broke out in a genuine smile.

Neal reached for this cane and with Peter's subtle help he was soon standing. 'Diana, you look great." He hugged her with one arm and then pulled free, offering his hand to Jones.

"Wow, like old times." Neal grinned as he glanced around.

"Neal, what are you doing here?"

"It's the place of my kidnapping" Neal said evenly. "I had to come here first..."

"And did you figure anything out?" Peter asked as they headed back, towards the car.

"No." Neal grew quiet as he concentrated on each step. Diana and Jones walked ahead and Peter stayed behind, ready to offer help if Neal stumbled. The ex-con was breathing hard by the time they reached the car but if anyone noticed no one commented.

"Where to?" Diana asked as she slid into the driver's seat.

"Anywhere quiet" Peter suggested.

"Let's pick up something and we can go back to my place. Sound ok?" After all agreed, Diana pulled out and headed towards her home.

It wasn't quiet. Not at first until Diana ushered them to the basement.

"Hey, it's finally done" Peter noted as he glanced around at the big screen TV and newly acquired pool table.

"Yes it is." Diana placed the cartons of Chinese food on the table and pulled out chop sticks from the cabinet drawer. "The kids love it down here and it gives us some peace and quiet. Sometimes" she added as an afterthought as she eyed Neal.

"Are you ok?"

He managed a weary smile. "Stairs are not my thing" he eked out between breaths before gingerly lowering himself to the sofa. Diana smiled as she noticed Peter inch closer...always there if Neal needed help.

Diana passed out the cartons of food as Peter grabbed a few cans of beer and soda from the fridge.

For a few minutes they ate in silence and it reminded Peter of late nights at the office and he sorely missed the companionship of his former team. Even after all these years he never formed ties like the ones he had with these individuals.

He wasn't listening to the conversation until Diana spoke.

"Neal, what happened to the people who took you?"

Peter stopped chewing and glanced at his friend; Neal met his eyes and then lowered his gaze as he busied himself with snagging a large piece of broccoli.

Peter's first instinct was to step in and divert the conversation away from Neal but he also wanted to know and he allowed the question to hang in the silence.

Neal took his time as he caught the green veggie and slowly ate it. He knew all eyes were on him and he knew for sure they wouldn't like the answer.

"Would you believe me if I said I didn't know?" Neal kept his eyes on Peter as he spoke.

"Did Mozzie know anything?" Again, Diana voiced Peter's question. Neal glanced her way and slowly he nodded. "I think he did" Neal quietly said.

"Did you ask him?"

"Does it matter?"

Peter knew that tone; it meant Neal was growing weary with the questions and he didn't want to answer. Or he knew more but didn't want to say.

"Neal, is it possible you're still in danger?" Jones decided to join the conversation.

"I don't know." As Neal stood, his carton fell to the floor.

"Damn it." He tried to kneel but his leg buckled and he went down in a heap, crying out in pain.

"Neal!" Peter met him on the floor. "Are you ok?"

"Can we leave?" Neal quietly asked as he took a couple of deep breaths.

"Why?" Peter helped him up.

"Caffrey." Diana approached and handed him some more food. She knelt down and quickly and efficiently cleaned up the mess, like an expert with three kids. She stood and threw everything into the trash. "Caffrey, I'm not looking to go after these people. I'm concerned that they might still be out there." She met Neal's hesitant eyes with a smile.

"Are you in danger?"

"No" Neal quietly answered. "Mozzie said he took care of them." He didn't elaborate and they didn't pursue the topic. It was well known what Mozzie was capable of if someone he cared about was in trouble.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence and once they were done Peter decided it was time to go back to the hotel.

Neal stopped at the front door. "Tomorrow is Mozzie's service. Can you come?"

"Yeah" Diana answered and Jones simply nodded.

"Thank you" Neal said before following Peter to the waiting cab.

* * *

Peter turned with a quiet groan, immediately noticing that the kitchen light was on. The bureau had paid for a decent suite and he had offered Neal the bedroom, though his back was regretting that decision.

"Can't sleep?" he asked as he entered and found his friend sitting at the table with a glass of wine and the urn with Mozzie's ashes.

Neal shrugged as he kept his eyes on the urn. "I'm not sure I can do this tomorrow..."

"Neal, if you don't want to..." Peter's voice trailed off as he pulled a chair out and sat down. "If you'd prefer to keep that with you we can cancel the service." Peter grabbed the bottle and poured a little wine for himself.

"I treated him like crap for so long."

"Neal...don't." Peter took a small sip while keeping his gaze on his friend.

"Peter, you weren't there."

"And we both know why" Peter put forth with a mixture of regret and accusation. Neal briefly met his eyes before looking downward with a deep sigh.

"And you're going to keep bringing that up" Neal muttered as he stood and hopped towards the sink.

"Neal, what do you want me to say?"

"Nothing." Neal grabbed his crutches and moved passed the agent.

"Hey." Peter reached for Neal's arm. "We're both up. Do you want to sit down and talk?"

Neal wasn't sure he wanted to talk but the last thing he wanted was to lay down and think about Mozzie. Finally he nodded and head towards the lone chair in the living room.

Peter sat on the edge of the bed and stared at his friend.

"So" the agent said with a sheepish grin. "Anytime you want to begin."

Neal eyed him. "I don't have anything to say" he remarked in an even tone.

"Neal..."

"You wanted to talk, go ahead."

Peter let out an audible sigh. "It might help if you let it out..."

"Let what out?" Neal's voice gained an octave. "I don't need to talk and I don't need to cry."

"What do you need?"

Neal shook his head in disbelief. "What I need you can't give me."

"Maybe I can help." Peter leaned forward and clasped his hands together.

Neal chuckled bitterly. "Can you give me my leg back? How about the ten years I lost? How about one last conversation with Mozzie so I can tell him what he meant to me"

"Neal, he knew." Peter stood.

"Did he?" Neal glanced away. "Do you have any idea what he was stuck with?"

Peter did but he kept quiet.

"Neal, you were his family and he took care of you..."

"And that's what hurts the most." Neal grunted as he stood and grabbed his crutches. He took a couple of steps and then faced Peter. "He didn't deserve the way I treated him..." Neal paused as he lowered his head.

"Peter, you can't fix this."

"I wasn't going to try." Peter took a step closer and placed a tentative hand on Neal's shoulder. "But you need to get over this guilt you feel."

"How?" Neal stepped away. "How do I get over it?"

"By moving on" Peter quietly answered. "You say goodbye to Mozzie, tell him you'll never forget him and start living. It's the only way."

"And you think it's that easy." Neal glanced at Peter

"I didn't say it was easy" the agent countered lightly. "But I think you can do it. Neal you're still young and you can have a good life...but only if you allow yourself. Can you try?"

"I don't know." Neal eased himself back into the chair and closed his eyes. Peter also sat and watched his friend and waited.

"He tried so hard to get me to see a doctor." Neal began in a quiet voice with his head down. "He'd bring them to the house and I would refuse to open the bedroom door." Neal briefly glanced up. "I lost so much during that year I was kidnapped that I couldn't imagine losing my leg also."

"Neal, it was just a leg..."

"It was my dignity" Neal swiftly retorted with sudden anger. "You have no idea what that year in captivity took from me."

"No I don't." Peter stood and slowly neared the chair; he sat on the arm and waited for Neal to protest.

The ex-con shifted away from Peter but he didn't tell the agent to move.

"I couldn't lose my leg..." Neal leaned back with a quiet sigh.

"I told him he'd understand if he were my friend." Neal took a deep breath. "I told him I hated him and I wanted to die..."

Neal glanced at Peter. "I didn't trust him...I didn't trust that he'd stick around once my leg was gone..."

Neal fought his inner demons, trying to reign in the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He felt Peter's hand on his head and he almost lost it; he knew Peter was trying to help but he didn't want the comfort.

"Don't" Neal whispered as his resolved broke. "Don't..." His body shook as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. Peter continued to rub his head as he waited for Neal to regain his composure while his own eyes burned with wetness.

Several minutes passed before Neal's body stilled and he let out one last shuddering breath. He leaned away from Peter and rested his head against the side of the chair.

The agent headed to the bedroom and returned with a blanket that he draped over Neal. Peter sat on the bed and stretched his legs out. He turned the TV on and lowered the volume; Neal was done talking and he wasn't sure either of them would get any sleep.

* * *

Neal walked out of the bathroom to the smell of fresh coffee. He entered the small kitchen and greeted Peter with a quiet good morning.

"Are you ok?" Peter looked up from the newspaper he was reading.

Neal nodded as he sat down and reached for his coffee and a chocolate croissant.

"Don't you have a seminar this morning?"

Peter shrugged. "I'm not needed there today..." He left off that he felt Neal needed him more. "Clinton and Diana will meet us at the cemetery and then we'll head over to the bank afterwards. Sound ok?"

"Yeah." Neal quietly ate his breakfast as he watched Peter skim through the front page news.

"Peter, I'm sorry about last night."

"Why?" Peter peered over the newspaper.

"I don't know." Neal sat back and eyed his friend. "You're not surprised that I trusted you more?"

"What do you mean?" Peter put the paper down.

"I let them take my leg." Neal chuckled before continuing. "Peter, I knew you wouldn't disappear on me but I wasn't so sure about Mozzie..."

"I don't think he would have" Peter put forth. "Maybe you finally realized it was time."

"I just want to get through today."

"You will" Peter said with a smile. "You won't be alone."

Neal managed a weak smile before heading to the bedroom to get dressed. Thirty minutes later, they headed downstairs.

Neal had chosen a small, quaint looking cemetery located at the edge of the city. It was mostly hidden by overgrown bushes and sprawling trees and Neal figured that was exactly what Mozzie would want. The service would be short and Neal was grateful for that.

He knew he was crying but he didn't bother to wipe away the tears. Peter stood next to him, quiet but stoic and exactly what Neal needed. Occasionally he would drape his arm around Neal with a gentle squeeze, always letting go before the ex-con could protest.

Diana and Jones stood just behind them and shockingly he could hear Diana cry. Maybe motherhood had softened her Neal silently mused; or she was more fond of Mozzie than she would admit.

The service ended and the coffin was lowered and Neal closed his eyes with a silent prayer; he said goodbye to his friend and hoped he could forgive him.

"I won't forget you" Neal whispered as he finally wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"It's over" Peter whispered as he patted Neal on the back.

"I'm not sure I can walk back" Neal quietly said as he suddenly latched on to Peter's arm.

"What's wrong?"

"Legs are shaking" Neal admitted before lowering himself to one knee.

"Neal, what's wrong?" Diana neared them.

"I don't know. Neal?" Peter knelt down with a supporting hand on Neal's arm.

"I'm ok" Neal managed to eke out as he tried to slow his breathing.

"Diana, bring the car closer." Peter pointed to the nearest location. "Jones and I will get him to the car."

Diana nodded as she raced back to the car, returning a few minutes later. By then Neal had more color in his face but he didn't protest when the two agents each took a side and supported him the whole way.

Peter climbed in the back seat next to him.

"Diana, do you have any water?"

She opened the trunk and pulled out a plastic bottle.

"It's warm" she said as she handed it to Peter.

"That's fine. Drink some." He offered it to Neal who took a sip and made a face. "It's warm" he muttered before taking another sip.

"Are you ok?"

"I think so." Neal leaned back and closed his eyes. "I dreaded this so much..." He paused for another sip. "Getting no sleep didn't help."

"I know" Peter agreed as he stifled a yawn. "Diana can you drop us off at the hotel?" Peter knew they had a couple of hours before their appointment at the bank. A cat nap would probably do them both good.

The traffic was awful and the ride took forever. Neal quietly stared out the window as Peter watched him and worried. He knew so little about Neal's captivity and the years that followed and it was the unknown that truly scared him; he was starting to wonder if Neal could put everything behind and start over.

* * *

"What the..." Peter opened the front door to total chaos. Neal and the boys were hopping around on one leg, Charlie was screaming like a madman and the dog was barking his head off. There were books on the floor and one overturned lamp that thankfully didn't look broken.

"Neal!" Peter tried to yell above the ruckus. "Jason..." He reached for his older son's arm but missed. "Neal!" Finally Peter whistled and everyone stopped.

"Hi Dad" Jason greeted as he firmly placed his second foot down.

"Don't hi dad me." Peter circled them all, finally stopping in front of Neal, who had the decency to look a little guilty.

"I asked you to help out while Elizabeth is out of town and watch the boys until I get home. Is this what you call watching?"

"Peter, we were just having some fun." The agent bristled at Neal's tone. It reminded him of long ago when he'd catch Neal and Mozzie up to something.

In fact, lately Neal had been sounding so much like himself that Peter had stopped worrying as much about his friend.

"Just having fun" Peter said with a hint of sarcasm. "Have you looked around at the disaster that used to be the living room?"

Sam barked.

"Don't you start." Peter eyed the dog. "Where's Lucky?"

Everyone shrugged, much to Peter's annoyance.

"OK, you two..." he pointed to his sons. "Clean up this room and find the cat.

"Neal, did you start dinner?"

"Yes Dad" he answered, as he followed Peter into the kitchen. "How's Elizabeth's mom?"

"She came through surgery just fine." Peter opened the oven and checked on the meat loaf. "She's going to stay a few more days. Can you handle the boys until then?"

"Piece of cake" Neal said as he put a pot of water on the boiler and took out a bag of frozen broccoli.

"Neal, when Elizabeth gets back, I want you to start working."

"OK." Neal answered and then glanced Peter's way with a small smile.

Peter was surprised and didn't hide that fact.

"Really?"

Neal nodded as Peter began to set the table. To borrow a cliché Neal had turned the corner shortly after Mozzie's funeral. Maybe it was having some money or some of his old possessions, or just more time; something in Neal turned back on and Peter started to see the person he once was. With some of the warts that used to drive Peter crazy.

"Great!" Peter opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. "What made you change your mind?"

"I'm ready." Neal walked around Peter with a slight limp. "It's going to be a few months until I get my permanent leg..." he paused as he turned the oven temperature down. "I can't keep hiding here can I?"

"I don't know." Peter put the can down. "You've done a pretty good job of it so far."

"Ha Ha" Neal spat out as he placed the meat loaf on the table. Peter went to get the boys as Neal quickly heated up the dinner rolls.

"Found Lucky" Jason announced as he plopped down, jumping right back up as Peter threw him a look. Jason grabbed the milk and poured two glasses.

"She was hiding in Uncle Neal's room" Charlie said as he slid into his seat. "Daddy, guess what I learned today."

"What?"

"You're supposed to guess..." Charlie briefly pouted before continuing. "Uncle Neal taught me to play chess."

Peter looked at Neal who simply nodded.

"He said I'm good."

"He is" Neal agreed, laughing at the look on Peter's face. "Just a little patience" he added, though it took more than a little until Charlie finally caught on.

"I'm impressed. How was school?"

As the boys rambled on about their day, Neal quietly ate his dinner, enjoying the simple everyday conversation of a normal family. Not exactly his family, but one he felt comfortable around and happy to be with.

* * *

"Neal, get up." Peter was surprised to find him still in bed when they were supposed to be at work in less than an hour. He wasn't surprised to find Lucky sleeping next to him. Neal's room had become a safe haven for the cat.

"Hey." Peter shook him roughly. "Is this the first impression you want to make?" Lucky gave him an evil eye before turning around and burrowing against Neal.

"Not going" Neal mumbled as he turned his face against the pillow.

"Why?" Peter sat on the bed, close enough that the cat jumped up and raced out. "Neal, you said you were ready and I think you are. What are you worried about?"

"Really?" Neal peered up with one open eye. "What am I worried about?" He chuckled bitterly before sitting up. "You think this is easy for me?"

Peter shrugged...in the past most things came easy to Neal.

"It's not." Neal threw the blanket off and stood, revealing his bare legs. "I'm nervous ok and yes, sleeping the day away did cross my mind."

"Neal, you'll be fine..."

"Don't!" Neal waved a finger towards Peter. "Don't tell me everything is going to be fine." Neal grabbed his crutches and headed towards the bathroom. After the door slammed shut Peter picked up his newspaper and retreated to the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later Neal entered looking...Peter managed to suppress his smile. With his newly gained weight and one of Byron's suits, Neal seemed to have stepped back in time...except for the walking cane he held tightly in his right hand.

"Do you want to eat first?" Peter asked as he stood.

"Too nervous" Neal answered as he fidgeted with his tie. "Can we stop for some coffee on the way?"

"Sure." Peter passed by him and waited for Neal to follow.

Peter sat at his desk and tried to get through the mound of paperwork that never ended. He kept his eyes on Neal; the day had started off rough and Neal kept to himself as he quietly poured through some cold cases.

Peter wasn't sure what he was expecting but it wasn't this; a shy and timid Neal who seemed afraid to speak up. He was cordial but only spoke when spoken too and never once did he display the charm that he once used for his advantage.

He started to get up when he saw Keith approach Neal. Peter swallowed hard as he sat and decided to watch the scene play out from afar.

Keith was fresh out of the academy and totally full of himself but he was smart and he had settled in nicely as the youngest member of Peter's team. Well, sort of his team. Peter had designated a leader long ago and he mostly watched from the sideline; going out on an occasional case when he needed to remember what it felt like to be useful.

Keith stood and said a few words before pulling a chair over and sitting down. He placed a file in front of Neal and the ex-con flipped through the pages, occasionally saying something.

At this point Peter wished he could read lips; he was good at figuring out body language and he noticed Neal sit up straighter.

Peter relaxed as he checked out a few new emails; though he managed to keep one eye on the scene playing before him. Peter was talking to Elizabeth on the phone when he heard Keith let out a quiet roar and clap his hands.

Match point Neal Peter silently mused as he watched an excited young man profusely thank Neal before running off with the file dangling loosely from his hand.

Neal glanced Peter's way and noticed he was being watched. The ex-con smiled with a slight shrug as if to say I still have it before lowering his head and continuing on with his own cold case.

Peter took a deep breath as he settled back in his chair. It wasn't the happy ending Neal desired but it was a beginning. And every fairy tale needed to start somewhere.

Neal insisted on walking to the parking lot; Peter told him it was a mistake...several times as Neal's breathing turned labored and he finally had to stop.

He was tired; every emotion and physical task during the day had sapped his energy to the point that he wasn't sure he could continue. But the more Peter insisted it be done his way, the more stubborn Neal became and he managed to keep his legs going until he couldn't take another step. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes

"I'm getting the car. Stay here."

Even if he wanted to move and keep any shred of dignity, physically he wasn't able to and he waited for Peter to return and allowed the agent to help him in the car.

"Don't say it" Neal said in a low, warning voice.

Peter smiled to himself as he kept his eyes on the road. There was nothing he needed or wanted to say. It would get easier and Neal would adapt to the physical demands of a normal day...in the meantime Peter was hungry and he had a taste for pizza. He pulled out his phone and after a quick call with Elizabeth he turned right and headed home.

The pizza was long gone and Elizabeth had ushered the boys upstairs to get ready for bed. Peter sat in his favorite recliner nursing a beer as the Yankees played a late game in LA. You can take the man out of New York but Peter refused to give up his favorite teams and he insisted on the MLB channel so he could still watch every game.

Neal lounged on the far end of the sofa trying to keep his eyes open.

"Neal, go to bed."

"Peter..." Neal's voice trailed off but the meaning was clear. I'm not your kid and stop mothering me. The agent had heard that tone more than enough times to know what it meant and to get angry.

He put the beer down and approached the sofa, settling himself next to Neal but allowing enough space between the two men.

"Neal, I missed you when you were gone and I am very glad you are here now." He felt Neal squirm beside him.

"Maybe I've become sentimental in my old age but I value my family and you are part of my family..."

"No, I'm not" Neal insisted as he interrupted Peter.

"What, do you want me to adopt you?" Peter stood abruptly. "Neal, I chose you to be part of my family. I'm sorry if it doesn't sit well with you." He took a couple of steps and stopped when Neal called his name.

Peter turned.

"Elizabeth once said you were the best thing that happened to me..." Neal managed a weak smile as he kept his eyes on Peter's face.

"I may not have agreed then but I know it's true now. Peter you've given me something I've never had and I do appreciate it."

"I hear a but in there" Peter quietly said.

Neal nodded. "I am grateful but I need more than what you can give me..."

"Neal, I get it. And I understand." He shrugged. "In the meantime, allow yourself to be happy and enjoy the people around you. We may not be what you ultimately want, but I think we're what you need right now."

Peter watched his friend for a few more minutes before turning the TV off and going upstairs. After he left Lucky jumped up and settled herself on Neal's lap.

Neal rubbed the cat's head and listened to her purr; he wished it was that easy. That he could be content and happy with what he had.

Peter was everything to him; his friend and at times the father he never truly had. He was grateful for Elizabeth's mothering and he truly adored the boys. But he longed for more...

His thoughts suddenly turned to his captivity and the time spent like a caged animal; all those months of begging for his freedom, for food and just a little bit of his dignity.

The silent prayers that Peter would find him...and finally the realization that help wasn't coming and he was alone in the world and at the mercy of people who treated him as nothing more than a tool in their plot to get rich.

He chose death and he survived and he suffered for years...all of that was ingrained in his memories and would always be there. Moments of time that he tried to tuck away just beyond his conscious thoughts. But moments that came back without warning and threatened to suffocate him.

This was one of those times. He felt the sweat pour out of every part of his body as the cat continued to purr, unaware of the war raging inside of Neal.

He opened his mouth to call out to Peter but he couldn't utter a sound. He reached for his phone and after two attempts he managed to type out a message.

_Help me. _

It was simple and it was right to the point and it did the job. Less than a minute passed before Peter was racing down the stairs, stopping when he reached the bottom.

Neal was shaking and he glistened with sweat and his hand kept on rubbing Lucky's head.

"Neal, what's wrong?" Peter slowly approached but his friend didn't answer, nor look his way.

"Hey." Peter sat down next to him, clearly concerned but unsure of what to do.

"Neal, what do you need me to do?"

With little hesitation Neal reached over and grabbed Peter's hand, squeezing tightly. He closed his eyes and waited; for the memories to recede and for his breathing to normalize. Seconds turned to minutes and finally an hour later, Neal started to relax and he eased his grip on Peter's hand.

"Sorry" he whispered when he managed to find his voice

"What happened?" Peter asked in a voice just as shaky as his friend's.

"I was trapped in a cage for months and sometimes that feeling returns..."

"Neal, you need to talk to someone."

"No." Neal said loud enough to scare the cat away. "What I need is time and the feeling that I'm not alone."

"You're not alone..."

"I know." Neal sighed as he finally released Peter's hand. "I know" he repeated as he stood and reached for his cane. "Don't give up on me ok?"

Neal walked away with the cat following.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." Peter listened as Neal walked into the bathroom and then to his bedroom. He heard the audible sigh when Neal freed his limb from the prosthetic. He heard Neal tell Lucky to stop kneading on him and finally he saw the light go off. Peter sat in the dark for another thirty minutes before he quietly opened Neal's door and peered in; he couldn't see anything but he heard the telltale sign of Neal's breathing and he knew his friend was asleep. He closed the door and went upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Each day Neal grew stronger in mind and in body. Peter didn't push Neal into seeing a psychiatrist but he insisted the ex-con talk and Neal said he'd only talk to Peter.

The agent wasn't totally on board; he wasn't sure he could handle hearing everything but he knew Neal had to let it out in order to move on.

So every night after dinner they walked the dog together; Neal needed the exercise and it was their time to be alone and allow Neal the opportunity to talk. Sometimes it was about work or his physical therapy sessions, sometimes something simple like a new art exhibit he was going to see.

Often it was Peter who talked about sports or the boys or the ten years when Neal was missing.

And when he needed to, Neal talked about the horrors he experienced during that year he was held captive. In the darkness of the evening sky he cried freely and sometimes Peter would join in, though neither man uttered a sound.

After a month of nightly walks, Neal declared that he was talked out though he wanted to continue the evening ritual.

Peter was fine with that and as they headed out on a cool Friday evening in early autumn Neal seemed more quiet than usual.

"Are you ok?" Peter asked as he zipped up his windbreaker.

Neal silently nodded as he grabbed the dog's leash in one hand and his cane in the other.

"Why so quiet?"

"We need to talk" Neal quietly countered in a tone that worried the agent.

"What's wrong?"

"Who said anything is wrong?" Neal headed out in front of Peter. His walking had improved immensely and unless you really studied his gait, it was hard to tell something was slightly off.

"My gut" Peter answered as he took Sam's leash and slowed the pace. They turned the corner and walked the next two blocks in silence.

Neal stopped suddenly in front of a ranch style house. "Peter, I'm moving out..."

"What?" Peter didn't hide his surprise. "Why...I mean you don't have to."

"Yeah I do." Neal smiled broadly. "I can't live in your office forever and I need more space."

"OK" Peter said evenly. "Where are you going?"

"Here" Neal pointed to the house. "I'll be renting for now but I have the option to buy if I want to." He held up some keys. "Would you like to see it?"

Peter nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. He was happy for Neal but he knew he would worry about his friend; Neal still had those moments when the past overwhelmed him and he wasn't sure Neal could handle it alone.

It wasn't a large home but it was more than enough room for Neal and Peter noticed the bathrooms already had safety bars.

"An old lady lived here but she recently moved in with her daughter. So it has all the alterations I need."

Peter followed Neal through the house, holding tight to Sam's leash so that the dog couldn't cause any trouble.

"Neal, are you sure you can live alone?"

"I'm not alone." Neal shook his head fiercely. "Peter, you're two blocks away and I know I can call you if I need to.

"You can." Peter smiled. "When's the move in day?"

"This weekend..."

"So fast?"

"Peter, stop" Neal warned as he led the way outside. "I'll be fine and I think this is best for everyone. Besides I expect you to pick me up each night for our daily walks. OK?"

Peter nodded as they headed home in silence.

Later that evening Peter couldn't sleep which meant Elizabeth was up also.

"Peter, he'll be fine."

"I know."

"Then come to bed." She propped herself up on an elbow and eyed her husband. "He needs his privacy...Peter I think there's somebody."

"Really?" The agent stood and neared the bed. "Did he tell you?"

"No." Elizabeth smiled. "Last week when I picked him up from the rehab I noticed him talking to one of the therapist..."

"And?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "That's it." She turned on her back.

"I wonder why he hasn't told me." Peter slid into bed. "Should I ask him?"

"No." Elizabeth slightly slapped his arm. "Let him be. He'll talk when he's ready."

Peter turned on to his side and closed his eyes. When sleep wouldn't come, he carefully climbed out of bed and went downstairs.

He was surprised to find Neal sitting on the sofa with Lucky on his lap.

"Can't sleep?" Peter sat down next to his friend. "Neal, is something wrong?"

"No." The ex-con's hand continued to scratch the cat's neck, eliciting a contented sigh from the feline. "I'm excited about having my own place..." He turned his head slightly. "Do you realize except for a short time when I first got to New York, I've never lived alone?"

"You were alone in the loft" Peter pointed out quietly.

"It's was June's house" Neal countered swiftly. "It was not my home. Even if I'm just renting, it's my place."

"If this is what you want..."

"It is." Neal shifted suddenly causing the cat to flee. "There's a reason I chose a place so close. I know you're here...I know my family." Neal paused with a self-conscious chuckle. "I know I have a place here if things don't work out. But I'm better." Neal smiled with a quiet sigh. "I can't forget the past but I'm in a good place right now. Just be happy for me."

"I am" Peter insisted. "But it doesn't mean I won't worry."

"That's fine." Neal settled back. "I don't mind having someone worry about me." They turned quiet and eventually the cat returned and settled back on Neal's lap.

"I talked to the boys tonight and they want you to take Lucky with you."

"Peter, I can't..."

"Neal, she adopted you and she won't be happy with you gone."

Neal closed his eyes as the cat changed positions, resting her head against Neal's chest. He never thought of himself as a cat person but he was smitten with her. "Thank you" he quietly said.

Again they turned quiet but neither moved. It was a comfortable companionship that developed years ago and some days it felt like the ten years apart never existed.

"They said I was lucky to survive."

Peter's ears perked up with this new revelation.

"The car was positioned on the tracks just after a curve so there was no way the train could stop in time." Neal let out a deep breath. "They found me in the back seat with my hands cuffed and my right leg partially in the truck. Took them hours to cut me out and they didn't know how I lived through that."

"Because you're Neal Caffrey and you have nine lives" Peter interjected with a smile. "You lived because you wanted to..."

"I thought it was karma" Neal said bitterly. "The misery of those years...I figured it was something I deserved."

"No." Peter shook his head. "You never did anything to deserve what you went through, got it?"

"Yeah." Neal managed a weak smile. "I had to give up my leg to have a life again..."

"It was worth it" Peter interrupted as he glanced at the missing limb. "It's late and I'm tired. Think you can sleep?"

"Soon" Neal answered. Peter nodded and then headed upstairs.

"So..." He stared down at the sleeping animal. "Are you ready to be my roommate?"

Lucky's only response was to stretch out with a sigh.

Neal laughed. It wasn't exactly the family he longed for but it was a start.

* * *

Neal surveyed the living room, pleased with the newly purchased furniture and big screen TV. He had ordered all weeks ago when he saw the for sale sign and started plotting. It wasn't his dream house...that wasn't something he thought of often. It wasn't the life he envisioned he'd have but after ten years of pure hell, he was content with what he had.

He wasn't quite thirty when he made the deal with Peter; young and cocky and all knowing...he'd find Kate and they would continue living the good life with money they conned from innocent victims. Things changed. Peter happened. And though the agent wasn't always on Neal's side, he did have Neal's back and for the first time in his life Neal had someone he could count on.

After he was kidnapped Neal stopped dreaming about the good life and being rich. He simply wanted a life, and he wanted his freedom.

And now. Neal glanced downward and smiled. Lucky had settled in nicely and seemed more sure of herself away from the dog.

"Are you hungry?" He walked into the kitchen with the cat following and poured a few treats into a bowl and placed it on the floor.

He heard a knock at the door and frowned. When the knock became more persistent he hurried to the front door.

"Peter, what's wrong?"

"Why does anything have to be wrong?" Peter challenged as he walked in and glanced at the new things.

"If I had known you were going to hang that photo, I would not have added a stick figure." Peter smiled as he looked as his friend.

"I hung it because of what you drew" Neal countered with an uneasy smile. "You gave me something I've never had..."

"And you're stuck with us." Peter eyed the TV. "That would be great for a ballgame..." he paused and chuckled at the look Neal threw him. "Or anything you choose to watch" he added defensively. "Speaking of...are you busy? Everyone deserted me and I need to run some errands. Want to come with?"

Neal hesitated briefly and of course Peter noticed.

"What? Have a hot date tonight?"

Neal looked away.

"You're not holding out on me are you?"

"Peter please." Neal took a deep breath before turning and facing the agent. "If there's something to tell, you'll be the first to know." Neal smiled. "I do have dinner plans but it's not a date. Come on...I need to buy some groceries." Neal grabbed his jacket and headed outside, ending the conversation...for now.

Neal entered the room with an easy gait, smiling when he saw familiar faces. The rehab was having a dinner for everyone and here, Neal felt most at ease. He had met so many going through the same process...trying to overcome some devastating injury to get back to a normal life, or as normal as possible.

Here he was comfortable. Here he felt at home and safe...a place that he didn't have to hide his feelings or pretend that everything was fine.

He kept this place from Peter...not because the agent wouldn't understand. Peter would and he would be fine with Neal's secret inner circle.

But it gave Neal a sense of security to have something of his own and though he thought Peter would understand, he was also afraid that the agent would be hurt by Neal's secrets and that's the last thing Neal wanted to do.

Neal heard his name and turned, smiling as Anna approached him. Another secret he kept from Peter but for different reasons.

Anna helped him through so many sessions when he wanted to give up...she'd let him cry and then hand him a tissue and tell him to try again.

And they would talk. About nothing and about everything and at some point, Neal thought he was falling in love

Yet he knew nothing about this woman and she knew nothing about his past.

"Hey Neal, I saved you a seat at my table."

"Great." He smiled and then followed her through a maze of tables. Neal kept up with all the conversations at the table but he couldn't help but keep a watchful eye on the lady seated next to him. Her face lit up with joy as she talked to a former patient seated on her other side and Neal longed to know more about her; yet he didn't feel he was ready for anything beyond a friendship.

The dinner ended around ten and Neal took a cab home...alone. He entered the house and was greeted by Lucky with a welcoming meow.

Neal bent down and scooped her up and then plopped down on the sofa. The cat settled on his lap and started purring.

"Do you think you can share me with someone else?"

Neal rubbed her belly and leaned back with a contented sigh. As soon as he got up the nerve, he would ask Anna out on a date.

* * *

"Neal, what is wrong with you?" Peter circled his friend before throwing his hands up in the air. "You said you were ready and you begged me..." Peter stopped pacing and stared at Neal with his hands firmly on his hips. "What happened in there?"

It was clear two minutes after the sting had started that something was wrong and they were able to get Neal out of there before his cover was blown.

Peter blamed himself. He wanted Neal back the way he was and it was hard to fathom that it might never happen. There was so much of the old Neal still there but something was missing and he couldn't quite put his finger out it.

For his part, Neal stood silent and refused to defend himself or offer up an excuse.

Peter sighed deeply before taking a step back. "Neal, go home and get some rest."

Without saying a word the ex-con turned and walked away, limping more than Peter had noticed in the past month. He wanted to follow and find out what was wrong but he had a job to do and a mess to clean up. Dealing with Neal would have to wait.

It was nearly 8pm when Peter decided to walk the dog and check on Neal. He rang the bell twice and it took several minutes before Neal finally answered, somewhat disheveled in a pair of sweat pants and dirty t-shirt.

"I was painting" Neal explained as he motioned to his outfit of choice. "What are you doing here?" It had been several weeks since they had stopped their nightly walks, though neither man knew why.

"I thought you'd like to join us and maybe..." Peter paused with a shrug. They needed to talk and figure out what was going on, why Neal was pulling away from Peter and his family. Always welcomed for dinner, Neal had only joined them once in recent weeks and even the boys had noticed his absent.

"Neal, we need talk."

"I know" Neal quietly agreed before grabbing a jacket and his house keys. He toed on a pair of sneakers and then followed Peter down the few stairs. They were quiet for the first block until Peter spoke.

"Neal, what's going on with you?"

"I don't know what you mean." Neal stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled along with a noticeable limp.

"Why are you limping?"

"Finally received my permanent leg..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Peter stopped and faced his friend.

Neal shrugged.

"You rarely come over for dinner..." It was a statement rather than a question and Neal remained silent. "Neal, even the boys wonder where you are..."

"Peter, I have a life..."

"You have a family."

"I know." Neal started walking. "I'm not sure I can have both."

"Are you dense?" Peter stopped so suddenly the dog whined when the leash pulled him back. "Just because you want a life doesn't mean you can forget about us. It doesn't work that way. Tell me what's going on..."

"I met someone" Neal quietly said.

"OK." Peter responded evenly. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Anna. She's a therapist at the rehab center." Neal walked a few steps ahead and then waited for Peter to catch up. "We went on a few dates and then I told her about my past."

"And?" Peter prompted.

"She has a daughter and she's not sure she wants me in her daughter's life."

Peter whistled softly. "Neal, that's not who you are now. Did you tell her?"

Neal nodded. "That was two days ago and I haven't talked to her since."

"And that's where your mind has been" Peter concluded with a frown. "Neal, I need you to concentrate at work, especially if I send you undercover."

"I know." Neal met Peter's gaze with a weary smile. "I can't stop thinking about her."

"Bring her to our house for dinner."

"No." Neal shook his head. "Peter, you can't fix this and I don't want you interfering." He walked ahead.

"Hey, give me some credit." Peter easily caught up. "I'm not going to do anything to embarrass you. It might help if she saw who you spend time with...assuming you still want to spend time with us."

"Peter. Don't." Neal stopped and grabbed Peter's arm. "The reason I am standing here worrying about Anna is because of you. I know that and I'm not going to forget it. I'm sorry if I'm not thinking straight right now..."

"You're in love." Peter suddenly smiled. "You've really fallen for her, haven't you?"

Neal abruptly turned and walked away.

Peter continued to smile as he tended to Sam's mess and then raced after Neal. They continued back to Neal's house in silence. At the door Neal finally spoke.

"I don't know if she's the right one but I want to have the chance to find out."

"You will" Peter put forth. "How about coming over for dinner tomorrow night? Everyone would like to see you."

Neal smiled with a nod. "See you tomorrow" he said before going inside.

Peter stood there for a few minutes before heading home.

* * *

Two weeks passed rather quietly; Neal didn't talk a lot about Anna but he did mention a couple of times that they were talking through their issues and he seemed happier than he was. And then, out of the blue, he suggested they do that dinner Peter had mentioned; Neal had actually said it was time Anna meet his family.

He had a sheepish grin that Peter easily matched as they picked a date and Peter immediately called Elizabeth to start planning.

Neal requested that they keep it simple and in the end, they all agreed on a barbeque; chicken and hamburgers and corn on the cob.

Once dinner was done, Jason took the younger ones outside so the adults could talk.

Peter liked Anna. She was a huge art lover and she hit it off immediately with Elizabeth. Neal listened intently and chimed in occasionally but Peter could tell by the way Neal fidgeted that he was as bored as Peter was.

Finally the agent excused himself to check on the children. They had taken Sam with them and they were taking turns tossing a ball and watching the dog go after it.

Amanda had just turned five and she was all girl; sporting a princess dress and matching shoes. She had light brown hair that hung to the small of her back and when she ran it flew everywhere.

She talked loud and laughed even louder and she had a smile that would get her far. Peter chuckled. She was going to be a hand full and Peter could just imagine a flustered Neal trying to reason with her.

"Hey."

Peter turned as Neal approached him.

"Escaped?" Peter asked with a weak smile.

Neal nodded as he glanced outside.

"Anna seems really nice."

Neal smiled. "She and Elizabeth have a lot in common." Neal looked over his shoulder. "They went to make coffee...or they gave me an out..." Neal paused with a quiet chuckle. "I don't know if I can handle that." He pointed towards Amanda.

"Neal, you'll be fine..." Peter stopped and stared at Neal. "Is it that serious?"

Neal shrugged but Peter didn't miss the look that crossed his friend's face. "It is, isn't it?"

Saved by the bell or in this case the children; they came running indoors with Jason leading. "We're thirsty" he announced as he led the pack into the kitchen.

"Should we join them?" Peter asked.

"No." Neal grabbed the dog's leash. "I think Sam needs a walk." Neal took a step and turned. "Don't worry; they won't even notice we're gone."

Peter assumed Neal needed to talk but he remained silent as they enjoyed a peaceful walk through the quiet neighborhood. Peter allowed Neal to dictate the pace and he took it slow, stopping occasionally when Sam found it necessary.

Near the park Neal took a sharp turn and headed towards a bench, sitting with a quiet sigh. Peter joined him.

"You ok?"

Neal nodded with a small frown.

"Seem awfully quiet."

"Peter, I'm happy..." Neal's voice trailed off with his heartfelt admission.

"So." Peter whispered evenly, trying to gauge Neal's mood.

The ex-con glanced sideways. "It's a foreign feeling" he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'm so afraid it's not going to last."

Peter wasn't sure he should tell Neal how stupid he sounded or assure him that he deserved to be happy. Neither would change how the ex-con felt. Neal would need to accept that happiness wasn't something reserved for the lucky few.

"Are you going to ask her to marry you?" Peter felt it was best to change the topic.

Neal smiled broadly as he sucked in a nervous breath. "I think so..." He paused briefly. "I want to." He turned his whole body so he was facing the agent. "Peter, I can imagine living the rest of my life with them. It just seems right..."

"You sound like a man in love. What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know." Neal leaned back and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure Peter would understand something he didn't understand himself. The desire to be happy was something he never thought he could achieve and now that it was so close... Neal shuddered and of course Peter noticed. He felt the agent's hand on his arm and he let out a deep sigh.

"Neal?" Peter's voice was full of concern as he tightened his grip on his friend's arm. "Neal, everything you said you wanted is in reach...what is wrong?"

"I can't explain it" Neal answered in a whispered tone. "It's all too easy..."

"And you're waiting for the other shoe to drop" Peter put forth with a frown. "Neal, nothing has been easy for you. If you hadn't lost your leg you would not have met Anna. Do you realize that?" Peter paused briefly. "Maybe it was meant to be."

Peter grew silent, hoping his words would sink in. But he knew Neal well enough to know his pep talk didn't help; he could feel the tension radiating from his friend.

"Neal, if she's the one, don't blow it..."

"You don't understand" Neal said loudly.

"Explain it to me" Peter countered evenly, keeping his voice low.

"I'm not sure I can..."

"Try."

"Mozzie always said guys like us don't get happy endings."

Peter sighed. "Neal, you're not like Mozzie and you never were."

"Really?" Neal managed a sarcastic chuckle.

"Yes. Really" Peter retorted. "Neal, I always had hope for you..."

"Blind hope" Neal muttered.

"I think the right phrase is blind faith" Peter corrected with a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Doesn't matter" Neal said as he stood suddenly. "We should get back." He took a couple of steps and then glanced over his shoulder. "Are you coming?" Peter continued to sit on the bench with Sam lying at his feet.

"They're going to wonder where we are..."

"No they're not." Peter smiled. "El sent me a message. They're taking the kids to get ice cream so we have time." He patted the bench. "Neal, sit down."

Neal bristled at the condescending tone but after a few more deliberate minutes he decided sitting was a more desirable position. He sat with a defiant sigh.

"Neal, you said you were happy and I'm assuming it's because of Anna and Amanda. Correct?"

Neal gave him a silent nod.

"OK..." Peter said with a quiet breath. "What is the problem? Are you afraid to be happy?"

Neal chuckled softly.

"Then, what is it?" Peter asked impatiently.

"It never lasts" Neal quietly answered. "Every time I thought I was with someone, something happened. Kate. Alex. Sara..." Neal shrugged. "I can name more but I think you get the picture."

"Neal, you're different now..."

"Am I?" Neal faced Peter. "I still remember the feeling I had when pulling a con...that doesn't go away. I enjoyed feeling like that. What makes you think I won't go back to that life?"

Peter took a calming breath. "And you're willing to give up everything you have now for a chance to go back to jail?" Peter leaned back and crossed his arms. "Neal, you're an idiot if you don't see what you have in front of you..."

"I do see it" Neal whispered. "It's like that candy bar that was dangled in front of me..." he paused. "I want it so badly but I feel like someone is going to yank it all away. Peter, why would I put myself in that position again?"

"Stay here." Peter stood suddenly and handed Neal the leash. "Don't move and don't lose my dog. I'll be back shortly." He walked away; returning ten minutes later out of breath.

"Take this." He dropped an ordinary chocolate bar in Neal's lap, causing the ex-con to recoil slightly.

"It won't hurt you" Peter remarked. The agent opened his own bar and took a bite, smacking his lips at the delightful taste. "Nothing like chocolate" he said as he savored the treat. He turned slightly to see Neal staring at his lap, refusing to take a hold of the candy.

"Neal, it's not going anywhere. No one is going to take it away from you. Please...I know you can do it."

They sat in silence. Peter slowly ate his chocolate while keeping an eye on the man seated next to him. An extraordinary situation that looked so ordinary no one passing by knew of the significance. Even Sam seemed to sense something was going on and he quietly sat between their feet, only lifting his head when an offending squirrel invaded his space.

Neal made the first move, ever so slowly reaching for the bar as if every move hurt; every painful memory threatening to break him in half. He reached out the hand with the most scars, symbolic of the torture he endured during that year.

With an audible breath he grabbed the chocolate and held it between his hands; taking another deep breath before ripping apart the wrapper.

Peter stopped eating but he dare not move a muscle, fearful that Neal might notice and stop. But the ex-con was lost in his own little world with memories too painful to share. He didn't notice Peter or the woman passing by with the screaming child.

He was back in that cage; begging and pleading until his throat hurt and his voice was gone. He broke off the edge of the candy bar and shoved it into his mouth, eating as if his life depended on it.

With a robotic motion he devoured the candy bar and barely noticed when Peter handed him another. That too disappeared in record time.

"Neal" Peter said so quietly, the ex con barely heard. "Are you ok?"

He was. But at the moment he didn't have a voice to answer with.

"You did it."

Neal managed a weary smile. Something so insignificant to most had been haunting him for years.

"I did it" he whispered with a glance towards Peter. But he wasn't sure what it meant. "Now what?" he quietly asked.

"It's your story" Peter answered in an equally quiet voice. "Only you can write the ending."

"I want to marry Anna..." Neal chuckled. "I want Amanda to call me daddy." He glanced downward. "Peter, it feels so right..."

"Then make it happen." Peter stood with a groan. Sam jumped up with a little whimper, suddenly eager to get moving.

"Are you coming?"

Neal nodded as he slowly stood and finally allowed himself to look around; his eyes settled on a young man pushing a stroller while his wife tended to an older child.

Dare I hope he silently pondered? Neal Caffrey, a man who once viewed the world as his own play ground and did what he wanted just because he could...suddenly wanted nothing more than a place to call his own...and a family to grow old with.

"Are you coming?" Peter asked again as he eyed his friend with a knowing smile.

"Let's go home." Neal sauntered by the agent like a man on a mission.

* * *

"Neal, stop squirming."

"The tie is fine." Neal batted the agent's hands away. "I'm not your kid..."

"You're acting like one." Peter backed away with an exasperated breath. "Calm down before you fall down."

"I am calm" Neal countered evenly. "It's not every day you get married. I'm sure you were nervous..."

"I was fine" Peter remarked with a weary smile. "You'll be fine..."

Neal nodded as he glanced around, barely noticing faces. He was getting married...he still wasn't sure he believed it but the scene around him told him it was happening.

"Peter, you'll pick Lucky up tomorrow right?"

Peter nodded.

"And Amanda's suitcase..."

"Neal, stop worrying."

"Don't forget the big white bear."

Peter chuckled. "Elizabeth can't wait to have a little girl in the house. She'll be fine with us."

"I know." They were driving to Florida for a few days and then they would drop Amanda off and spend a couple of nights alone in a quaint little bed and breakfast they found in Virginia.

"You'll have fun at Disney World..."

Neal rolled his eyes. Not his idea of a honeymoon...

"Amanda said she couldn't live another moment if she didn't meet the princesses. I didn't know little girls were so dramatic."

"Just wait." Peter smiled. "When the hormones kick in..."

"Don't." Neal shook his head. "I don't want to think about that."

"Daddy!" Amanda ran towards them with Charlie following.

Neal braced himself for the inevitable but Peter intercepted the child and easily lifted her up with one arm.

"What's wrong?" Neal asked as he took her from Peter; leaning ever so slightly against the agent to keep his balance.

"Charlie said I'm going to fall walking down the aisle."

"Charles Anthony Burke!"

The child glanced up with a nervous look. "Dad, I was joking" he pleaded as he played with the knotted tie. "How much longer do I have to wear this?"

"All day if you don't behave" Peter answered with a small smile playing on his face.

"Amanda, you'll do fine." The agent leaned over and planted a kiss on the child's forehead. "I want you and Charlie to go sit down until the service starts." He took her and gently placed her on the floor.

"Charlie, take Amanda's hand and go sit with her..."

"Dad..." Charlie opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it. With an exaggerated sigh he took Amanda's hand and pulled her towards a set of chairs.

"When did she start calling you daddy?" Peter asked when the children were far enough away.

Neal shrugged. "It was Anna's idea...we've started the paperwork so it will be official soon enough. Besides, we want to make her as secure as possible...in about six months her whole world is going to turn upside down again.

"Six months." Peter said with a quizzical look. "Six months..." he repeated with a huge smile.

"Anna is..."

Neal nodded as he held up two fingers.

"Two." Peter again looked confused. "If she's two months along..."

"Not two months" Neal whispered in an exasperated voice. "Two..."

"Twins?" Peter's eyes widened as Neal confirmed with a slight nod.

"Neal..." At a loss for words Peter wrapped his arms around Neal. "I'm so happy for you" he whispered as he patted his friend's back.

"You're messing the tie" Neal muttered as he leaned into Peter's embrace. "Don't start crying." Neal pulled away and glared at the agent. "If you start, I'll start..."

Peter wiped his eyes. "I'm good" he managed to eke out in a voice that said otherwise. "Give me a minute." They stood there in a companionable silence, barely noticing that the church was filling up and the music had started.

"Guess we should get you to the altar" Peter said in a stronger voice.

Neal nodded as he glanced around. "It's time..."

He took two steps until Peter stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Neal, you're finally getting your happy..."

"Don't say that." Neal cut him off sharply.

"Say what?"

"My story is just beginning" Neal answered with a knowing smile.

"And only you can write it..." Peter's voice trailed off. "Let's get you hitched." He placed an arm around Neal's shoulders and guided his friend to the proper spot.

THE END

For Now


End file.
